'AITA for threatening to postpone my wedding over rude comments about my scar?'
"AITA for deciding to postpone the wedding over a comment my fiance made about my scar?"
Upstairs_Garden2353 says:
I (female) have a visible scar on the side of my neck. It's been there for over six years, and no one has ever commented on it or made any negative remarks about it. However, my fiancé would make comments about my scar and try to make it seem flirtatious.
For instance, complaining that he has kissed every part of my body except my neck because of the scar, or saying that the scar "looked like a kid messed up such a great work of art" (referring to my looks). Etc., etc. I told him I didn’t appreciate it, even if he was using the scar as a way to be flirty with me, but he insisted that he loves me anyway.
Our wedding is approaching, and I’ve been busy with the planning. A few days ago, my fiancé, my in-laws, and I were talking about the wedding and how we were finally going to be married. He laughed and said, "I'm marrying you minus the scar." I was stunned when he said that, especially in front of his family. I was so upset that I got up and walked out of the room.
We had a big fight, and he kept saying I was being a drama queen and that he had said "nothing wrong." He doubled down when I mentioned that I’d consider postponing the wedding because of his comment, calling me crazy.
His mom said that I’m obviously "traumatized" by my scar to let it ruin my marriage with her son and suggested therapy. She told me that the scar was the issue—not her son—who, according to her, loves me as I am and chose me to be his wife.
I don’t know—I really feel horrible right now. I don’t know if I was right to mention postponing the wedding or whether I’m overreacting in this situation. My girlfriends have previously said that my fiancé shouldn’t even be bringing up the scar like that.
Here are the top rated comments.
Cute-Profession9983 says:
He got his mom to gaslight you. I bet this isn't his only constant douche move in your relationship.
FloMoJoeBlow says:
NTA, but rather than postpone it, I would call it off. Clearly you deserve better than this jacka%@ and his family.
AdExpensive1624 says:
NTA. That’s hurtful, disrespectful, and calling attention to something that is very much a part of you in a negative way. When you love someone, you do so not in spite of the things that make them unique, but BECAUSE of those things. I’d venture to say that scar has shaped how you feel about yourself, the world, relationships, etc.
Lucky-Effective-1564 says:
Why is he so OBSESSED with the scar? I would seriously think again about marrying this idiot.