'AITA for refusing to attend my sister's wedding because she wants to destroy my dress.' UPDATED
"AITA for Refusing to Attend My Sister's Wedding Because She Wants to "Repurpose" My Wedding Dress?"
Budget-Jaguar-1990 writes:
I (28F) got married last year in a small but beautiful ceremony. My husband and I spent months planning every detail, and the highlight for me was my wedding dress. I had saved up for years to buy this dress—it was my dream dress. It’s a beautiful lace A-line gown with intricate beadwork and a long train. I felt like a princess and still get emotional just thinking about it.
Fast forward to now: my sister (26F) is engaged, and her wedding is coming up in six months. She recently came over to our place to chat about wedding plans. At one point, she casually mentioned that she'd love to "borrow" my dress. She thinks it would be "cute" to "repurpose" it, maybe by shortening the skirt or even dyeing it a different color so it’s "unique to her."
I was taken aback. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her altering my dress, especially since it has a lot of sentimental value to me. She got upset and said I was being selfish because she wanted to save money on her wedding and that "family should support each other." When I stood my ground, she accused me of “not caring about her big day” and stormed out.
My parents later called me and said I was "breaking her heart" by refusing to share. They said that since I'm married and "done with the dress," it shouldn't be a big deal. But it is a big deal to me. I want to keep my dress as it is. They suggested I just "let her have her way" to avoid family drama, but honestly, I feel like it's my dress and my decision.
Now my sister says she "won't feel comfortable" with me at her wedding unless I "show my support" by letting her use the dress. I don’t want to miss her wedding, but I also don’t want to give in to something I’m not comfortable with. AITA for refusing to let her "repurpose" my wedding dress and considering not attending the wedding?
Here are the top rated comments from readers.
PrincessxDianne says:
NTA. It's your dress, and your sister is being unreasonable.
PorkyMcRib says:
NTA. You don’t just get to decide to claim somebody else’s sentimental property. Let alone decide to hack it up and change colors. I would refuse to go under any circumstances.
indianSadWife says:
In our culture where siblings are even more close. You still don't share your wedding dresses even if you are poor and can't afford. You will rather buy cheap one than expecting from former bride. Nta your sister is being selfish and you need to stand on your ground. If she loves you, she won't blackmail you and put conditions. NTA.
SeaworthinessDue8650 says:
Does anyone in your family have the keys to your place? If they do, change the locks. Your sister is the spoiled golden child. NTA.
OP posted an update four months later.
Well, folks, buckle up because this situation went from a soap opera to a full-blown telenovela. After my last post, I took everyone’s advice and locked my dress away in a safe place. My sister continued guilt-tripping me, my parents doubled down on calling me “selfish,” and I continued standing my ground.
Then, a week ago, THE DRESS WENT MISSING. My childhood Spidey senses tingled, and sure enough, my mom accidentally let it slip that my sister had borrowed it. Borrowed. As in, stole. I was furious. I immediately drove to my parents' house, and there it was—MY EFFIN’ DREAM DRESS—laid out on the dining table like some sort of sacrificial lamb, with fabric samples and scissors nearby.
I lost it. I grabbed the dress, stormed out, and on my way home, I got a text from my sister: "If you take that dress, don’t bother coming to my wedding." Oh. Ohhhhhh. Game on. I went home, poured myself a big glass of wine, and started thinking. Then, like a vengeful rom-com protagonist, I had the most petty, most diabolical idea ever.
I booked a spa weekend for my husband and me on the same day as her wedding. Not just any spa—a luxury, five-star, champagne-filled getaway. Then, I posted about it. On social media. With the caption: "So grateful to be spending this weekend with the love of my life, celebrating the best decision I ever made: my wedding. Wishing everyone a day as joyful as ours was!"
SHE WENT BALLISTIC. Blowing up my phone. Screaming in texts. Calling me a “jealous, bitter b**”** for ruining her big day. Our parents begged me to apologize, saying my sister was inconsolable. I told them:
"Oh, so now it’s a big deal when someone’s special moment is ruined? Funny how that works." And let me tell you—I have never sipped mimosas more victoriously than I did that weekend. Now? My sister still isn’t talking to me, my parents are “disappointed,” and I’m still in possession of my wedding dress. And honestly? I have never been happier.