'AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's evil stepdaughter who snoops for he mother?'
"AITA for refusing to babysit for my sister because I don't want her stepdaughter in my house?"
Round-Werewolf3743 writes:
My sister (30s) has been married to Nick (30s) for six and a half years. Nick has an 11-year-old daughter, Abbie, from his first marriage. My sister and Nick also have two biological kids together. Nick shares custody of Abbie with his ex-wife. For a while, everything was fine. Everyone in our family got along with Nick and adored Abbie.
Things changed when Abbie's mom's second marriage ended five years ago. Since then, she has made things extremely difficult for my sister and Nick. She has done everything she can to turn Abbie against my sister, our family, and eventually her younger siblings.
For over a year now, they have had a serious issue with Abbie snooping in private areas and sending photos or information to her mom. Nick and my sister had to start locking their bedroom door during the day. They also had to secure medications because Abbie’s mom wanted proof of everything. Abbie has also been snooping in other family members’ homes, including my parents’, my other sister’s, and my aunt’s.
Abbie’s behavior has changed a lot too. I understand that she’s at an age where kids can pull away or act differently, but she has become rude to our side of the family. She has not changed at all around Nick’s family. She now denies we are her family and says she is an only child.
She claims she only has cousins from her mom’s and dad’s sides, even though she used to consider my siblings’ kids her cousins. I used to be the fun uncle, but now she does not even see me as an uncle at all.
I’m not okay with this, and I’m definitely not going to babysit an 11-year-old like she’s a toddler while ignoring the other kids just because she might go snooping the minute I’m not watching.
Nick has taken the issue to court, and I do give him credit for trying. Abbie is also in therapy, and she has faced consequences for the snooping. But she is encouraged and rewarded by her mom for this behavior, so I do not see why she would stop. My sister asked me to babysit the kids for several hours this weekend. I did not have any plans, but I said no. They will have Abbie with them, and I am not comfortable watching her.
My sister offered to let me stay at their house to make things easier, but I told her that would still mean having to deal with Abbie’s attitude and behavior. She understood, but Nick did not. He told me that giving up on Abbie will not help and that I am just making things worse. Am I the a^#%ole?
Here are the top comments from the post.
ProfPlumDidIt says:
NTA. At any moment it could escalate to Abbie making false claims against someone and it could ruin lives. It's not a risk worth taking. No one in your family should be alone with her at any time.
Junior-Equipment-895 says:
You're not giving up on her? You just don't want to be stuck watching a rebellious pre-teen that's being encouraged to start problems. You need to be very careful around her now, she could say things and make claims that could cause serious problems in your life. With her mom encouraging this behavior, it wouldn't surprise me. Try not to be alone with her, watch out for yourself. Have your phone ready to record if you do get stuck alone with her.
widowswalk1622 says:
NTA What if her mom "encouraged" her to say you did something to her? This could potentially ruin your life, don't take the risk and explain it that way to your sister and Nick.
OP responded:
It's not out of the realm of possibility which is another very good reason for my refusal.