'AITA for refusing to babysit for my sister after she ruined my wedding ceremony?'
"AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's kids after what she did at my wedding?"
LuckyInternet5072 writes
Hi, so this whole thing has been blowing up in my family, and I don’t even know where to start. I'm (26F) married for about 6 months now to my husband (28M), and honestly, I thought everything was fine between me and my older sister (33F). Let’s call her Lisa.
Growing up, Lisa was always "the favorite." My mom would bend over backwards to help her with anything, whether it was money, school, or her kids. (She has 3—7M, 5F, and 3M). I’m not saying Lisa’s a bad mom or anything, but she leans HARD on the family for support. And me? I’m just the "free babysitter."
Well, when my husband and I were planning our wedding, I made it clear it was our day. I didn’t want drama, I didn’t want chaos, and I told Lisa (nicely!!) that I didn’t want her kids at the ceremony. The reception, sure, but the ceremony was going to be small and intimate, just 40 people. She flipped out about it but finally said, “Fine, whatever, do what you want.”
Fast forward to the wedding day. I’m standing at the altar, holding my husband's hands, and guess what I hear? A BABY SCREAM. I look over, and there’s Lisa, trying to shush her 3-year-old, who’s having a meltdown right there in the middle of my vows.
I was furious but kept my cool in the moment. After the ceremony, I pulled her aside and was like, "Why did you bring them? I thought we agreed!" She just laughed and said, "You didn’t mean it! They're family."
I told her she disrespected me and my husband, and she needed to leave the reception if she couldn't keep the kids under control. My mom, of course, took her side, saying I was being dramatic and “kids will be kids.”
So I guess I’d already been harboring some resentment, but here’s where the real issue starts. A week ago, Lisa texted me saying she needed me to watch her kids for the weekend because she and her husband wanted a “much-needed break.” I told her no, I had plans (which I did, but even if I didn’t, it’s not my responsibility). She called me selfish, saying I "owed her" because "family helps family."
I snapped. I told her I’m not her built-in babysitter, and after the wedding stunt, she should be the one apologizing to ME. She got all huffy and told the whole family I’m "punishing her kids for no reason." Now everyone’s blowing up my phone, saying I’m cruel for "turning my back" on Lisa when she "needs help."
But I’m standing firm. I’m not a free babysitter, and I’m not gonna let her walk all over me anymore. So, AITA for refusing to babysit and drawing a line?
Here are the top rated comments:
No_Cockroach4248 says:
Well…all the ones who say you are turning your back, why aren’t they volunteering to babysit as Lisa needs help? You are not punishing the kids, their parents should be spending quality time with them. Your sister is not only very entitled, but has always taken you for granted and did not respect your wishes during your wedding. NTA.
Lisbei says:
NTA. Congratulations for growing a spine! Please hold on to it and don't let your family walk all over you anymore.
Burby-Honey-4343 says:
Let’s forget about the wedding disrespect for now. The truth is you have a life that does not revolve around her and her kids. Even if she respected your wishes on your wedding day, you’re still not obligated to babysit. Let those “taking her side” also take her kids.
Street_One5954 says:
NTA. Crisis is another word for emergency. Is she having an emergency? Doesn’t sound like it-here’s an example-her husband is in a head-on with another car in another state-yes YWBTA for not helping. You are not her nanny or au pair. You don’t owe her crap or a cracker. I HATE “family helps family” crap when it’s used for this BS. Stand your ground. You don’t “owe” anyone anything.