'AITA for not starting fresh by giving up my son for adoption like my parents suggest?'
"AITA for cutting off my parents after they pressured me to give up my son for adoption?"
Substantial-Fig-662 writes:
I (32F) am a single mom to my 7-year-old son, who is on the autism spectrum. He’s everything to me. I’ve been raising him mostly on my own since my divorce three years ago. My ex and I tried to make it work, but the stress of raising a special needs child took a toll, and he bailed. Now it’s just me and my son, and while it’s not always easy, I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
But my parents... well, they don’t see it that way. Ever since my son's diagnosis, they’ve made these comments, always implying that he's too much for me to handle. At first, it was more subtle—stuff like, "You need a break" or "He must be exhausting."
But recently, it’s gotten worse. They’ve flat-out suggested I should consider putting him up for adoption because, according to them, he's "too much of a burden." The first time they said it, I was in shock. I didn’t even know how to respond. I love my son with every part of me, and the idea that they think he’s disposable or a problem to be solved with adoption made me sick to my stomach.
I tried to explain to them how hurtful that was, but they wouldn’t stop bringing it up. Every time we talk, they hint that I’m making things harder for myself by keeping him. They’ve said things like, "You’re still young; you could have another chance at a normal life," as if my son isn’t my life already.
It came to a head a couple of weeks ago when they actually sat me down and said that they’d done some "research" on homes for special needs kids and how he could “get better care” somewhere else. They even said it would be “better for everyone” if I gave him up.
Like, who even says that? I completely lost it. I told them they were cruel and heartless, and that if they couldn’t accept my son as part of our family, then they weren’t part of our lives anymore.
Since then, I’ve cut off all contact with them. My phone’s been blowing up with texts from my parents, and now other family members too, saying I’m overreacting and that they were "just trying to help."
They’re telling people I’m being ungrateful and that I should think about how hard it is for them to see me struggling. Some relatives have even said I should "forgive them" because they’re my parents and only want what's best for me.
But I can’t get past the things they said. My son isn’t a burden, and he definitely isn’t something to be "given up" because life’s a little harder with him around. He’s my son—my whole world. So now I’m questioning myself. Am I being too harsh? Should I give them another chance because they’re family? Or am I right to cut them off after what they said?
Here are the top rated comments to OP's post.
Angelx_Baby says:
You are NTA. Your parents' suggestion to give up your son is unacceptable. Your child's well-being is your priority, and you're right to defend him.
Candid_Process1831 says:
You are not the AH!!! Your parents are the AH and all other how say otherwise . Keep your head up and take good care of your child thats the most important think!!!
MagicalGraceee says:
Your parents are way out of line. You're absolutely right to cut them off for suggesting you give up your son. He needs you, and you clearly love him. Don't let anyone make you question that.
AylenInMotion says:
You’re absolutely not overreacting. Your son is your world, and your parents crossed a huge line by suggesting something so cruel. It’s understandable that you want to protect him and yourself from those kinds of hurtful comments. If they can’t respect your role as his mother, then setting boundaries—even cutting them off—is valid. Take care of yourself and your son first.