'AITA for refusing to go on vacation with my family cause I always cover extra costs.'
"AITA for refusing to go on the family vacation because I’m tired of always covering the extra costs?"
mazymayes says:
So this happened last week, and my phone has been blowing up ever since. I (34F) have always been the “responsible one” in my family. I have a good job, no kids, and I save my money. My younger brother (31M) and his wife (29F) have three kids and are constantly broke. My mom says it's “just a phase,” but it has been like this for years.
Every summer, we do a family vacation to the beach, usually renting a house that we all split. Except I always end up covering more than my share. Last year, my brother said he couldn’t afford his part until “after the trip,” and—surprise, surprise—he never paid me back.
I also paid for groceries, gas, and even his kids’ amusement park tickets because “they didn’t want to feel left out.” When I brought it up, my mom said I was being selfish. So this year, when the group chat started planning again, I said I’m out. I told them I’m not going, and if they can’t afford the trip without me footing half the bill, maybe they shouldn’t go at all.
Now everyone’s pissed. My mom says I’m “punishing the kids,” and my brother called me cold-hearted. Even my cousin, who usually stays out of it, said I could at least come and “just not pay for extra stuff.” I’m tired. I feel like if I go, I’m enabling this. But now I’m wondering if I went too far. AITA for saying no?
People responded to OP's post.
Advanced-Pear-8988 says:
NTA- keep your foot down and stop being their ATM. You said it best if they can’t afford it don’t go!
OP responded:
That’s exactly how I feel. I love them, but I’m done being the backup plan every time.
Alisha235a says:
NTA. This isn't about being cold-hearted, it's about not being a doormat. Your family needs a reality check on their spending, not a bailout.
Ok-Thing-2222 says:
I agree--go on your OWN vacation and see a new place. Be adventuresome and discover new sites! When I was a kid, we went on ONE vacation and my dad had saved up and rented a pop-up camper! It meant the world to us and I've never forgotten our awesome time!
If they cannot afford their vacation, your family needs to chose a less-expensive place to go or try local 'mini vacations'. Or parents need to suck it up and set aside some money throughout the year--and try every/other year.