'AITA for not helping my sister after she used my college fund for her kid's private school?'
"AITA for refusing to help my sister after she gave my college fund to her step kids?"
cxllipe writes:
I'm a 19-year-old woman and recently graduated high school. Since I was a kid, my grandparents set aside a college fund for me. It wasn’t a huge amount, but it was enough to cover community college and part of a university transfer.
Last month, my older sister "Emily" (32) admitted she used the money to pay for her step kids’ private school tuition. They’re 12 and 14. She’s been married for two years to "Jason," who has full custody of his kids. They’re nice enough, but we aren’t close.
I was obviously furious when I found out. Emily said she was “just borrowing it” and planned to pay it back eventually. I asked when, and she said, “when we’re more financially stable.” No actual plan.
The worst part is that my grandparents never gave her permission. They trusted her to manage the account because I was underage when it was set up. I trusted her too. Now I’m stuck. I got into my dream university but can’t afford it without loans.
My grandparents are heartbroken but can’t pull that money out of nowhere again. I had to decline my acceptance and start working full-time while figuring out my options.
This week, Emily asked if I could babysit her step kids for free during the summer since “you’re not in school anymore.” I flat-out said no. She got defensive and accused me of punishing her children for something they didn’t do.
She said I’m being selfish and vindictive. Our parents are split. Dad says she messed up and I don’t owe her anything. Mom says “family is more important than money” and I should let it go.
OP answered a few questions from readers.
Perimentalpause says:
I'm confused why your sister had control over it and not your parents. Or why it wasn't put in a trust. Some of this sounds off, tbh. If it's real, then I'd sue. "Get your husband and his family to pay me back for THEIR kids." Sue her for financial abuse and fraud.
OP responded:
I was 13 when they set it up, and she was already an adult, so I guess they thought she’d be responsible. My parents weren’t involved because… well, they’re not great with money either. My dad lives out of state and has always been kind of hands-off. My mom and Emily have always been closer, and Mom kept pushing that Emily was “trustworthy.”
It was never an official trust or anything protected. Just a regular bank account that Emily had access to. I didn’t even know the balance until last year. I feel so stupid for trusting it was all being taken care of.
I’ve been looking into legal options, but everyone keeps saying it’ll cost more than I’d probably get back…especially since there’s no formal documentation saying it was exclusively for me. I’m so lost!!!
No_Increase2286 says:
Your mom is gross and probably told her it will be okay. Your sister is vile. I would press charges.
OP responded:
I have been looking into legal options but literally EVERYONE keeps saying it’ll cost more than I’d probably get back.