'AITA for refusing to share my location with my insecure boyfriend to help him heal?'
"AITA for refusing to share my location with my boyfriend just because 'he wants to feel secure'?"
pinkcloudcasher writes:
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 8 months. Overall, things have been good. He’s sweet, caring, and honestly one of the first guys I’ve ever felt safe with... until recently.
This started a few weeks ago. He casually asked me if I could share my location with him “just in case something happens.” I said I wasn’t really comfortable with that, and he immediately asked, “Why not? What are you hiding?”
I told him I’m not hiding anything, but I just value a little independence. I’ve never even shared my location with my mom, and I feel like if he trusts me, he doesn’t need to track me like that. He said it’s not about control but about feeling secure in the relationship. He also said his last girlfriend cheated on him and that this would help him “heal.”
I told him I’m really sorry that happened to him, but it’s not fair to treat me like I’m going to do the same. He said I was being “cold” and “unwilling to compromise.” Fast forward to last night: I went out with my two best friends to get dinner and see a movie.
I texted him when I got there and even sent a selfie. Later that night, he called and asked again if I would consider sharing my location because “he had a bad feeling.” I said no, and now he’s barely texting me back.
He posted a vague story on Instagram saying: “Some people don’t understand the meaning of loyalty anymore.” Which honestly made me feel really gross. Now I’m wondering, AITA for not sharing my location with him? I feel like in a healthy relationship, that shouldn’t be required. But maybe I’m too young or naïve and this is just how adult relationships work?
Here are some of the responses to OP's post.
MinuteBubbly9249 says:
NTA! So many red flags though: turning your normal boundaries into a problem (what are you hiding). no, you're not hiding, he is invading. Making you responsible for his "healing." No, that's on him. this is manipulative and controlling.
Passive-aggressive and manipulative in general, like IG story, accusing you of being cold for standing your ground. You are absolutely correct that you don't any of that in a healthy relationship. Compromise doesn't mean you just give in into his unreasonable demands.
Efficient_Most439 says:
NTA, that's a walking red flag. Dump this loser.
ConsitutionalHistory says:
He's unhealthily possessive this early in a relationship should be a red flag.
MouldyAvocados says:
NTA. He needs therapy, not a relationship. It’s not on you to allow him access to every aspect of your life, to allow him to track your every move, because someone else cheated on him. He doesn’t get to punish you for someone else’s transgressions. No one “heals” from cheating by holding someone else responsible. Your boyfriend is a red flag. End it before it escalates.