'AITA for refusing to return expensive band merchandise I bought second hand?'
"AITA for refusing to return expensive band merchandise I bought second hand when someone reached out to tell me they were stolen from her?"
Last November, I bought two autographed K-pop posters from members of my favorite band. They were listed in my country’s main Facebook selling group for the fandom, and the seller provided enough proof of authenticity that I felt comfortable buying them.
I spent a couple thousand dollars on them as a gift to myself for graduating with my master’s degree and landing a “big girl” job after interning all summer to secure it, which meant I could not travel like I had planned.
A few weeks after posting them on Instagram, I received a message from a girl, “Ana,” who lives in another country. She claimed the posters had been stolen from her by her former roommate, who then sold them to me without her consent.
She demanded that I return them immediately, calling them stolen property. She sent a photo of the posters with a timestamp from early February 2025 and said her former roommate had stolen over $10,000 worth of rare merchandise from her.
Ana was very confrontational and implied that I should have known the posters were stolen because she had posted about it extensively on social media. However, I do not follow her country’s side of the fandom.
I live on the other side of the world and do not speak the language. From what I understand, her former roommate, Maria, came to my country for graduate school and sold the posters here to buyers who were unlikely to have seen Ana’s posts.
I asked Ana whether she planned to reimburse me for what I paid, but she said no. She insisted she should not have to pay me back because the posters were stolen. I told Ana I was sorry about her situation, but I would not return the posters without being reimbursed in full.
I offered to send her screenshots of the listing and details of the PayPal transaction. However, I was not willing to give up the posters based solely on her word, especially without compensation.
I also mentioned that, while I sympathized with her, there was a possibility this could be a scam involving both her and Maria to obtain both the posters and the money. There have been elaborate scams in the K-pop buy and sell community before.
I told Ana that if the posters were truly stolen and worth thousands of dollars, she should file a police report in her country and pursue the matter through the proper legal channels. I also checked with my brother, who is a lawyer, and he confirmed that I am legally in the clear to keep the posters.
Because I purchased them in good faith, I am not liable. I would only have done something wrong if I had known they were stolen at the time of purchase. He added that even if Ana took legal action against Maria in her country and won, it is highly unlikely authorities would pursue me in my country for a relatively low value case.
Since this began, I have made my Instagram and TikTok accounts private because Ana sent people into my comments to harass me and call me a thief. The situation has been stressful, and I am now receiving messages from strangers telling me I am in the wrong. Some people are directly calling me a jerk for refusing to return the posters. So, am I?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
goddessofgoo says:
NTA. The fact that she went so angry and harassing about the situation makes it seem so much more suspicious as a scam. You'll likely never know if it was or not, but as you said, you bought them in good faith and aren't the one that did anything wrong.
If Ana definitely had them stolen, she should be using this energy to file with the police, not bullying you. Regardless of if she's the victim, she's the AH for taking it out on you, when you were innocent in this situation. The bullying should be towards Maria if she's telling the truth, not you.
MerlinBiggs says:
NTA. This is a scam. How else did she know to contact you? If she was genuine, authorities would be involved.
Adorable-Light-8130 says:
NTA. If they are truly stolen then she should've filed a police report when they were stolen. It all sounds fishy to me. I definitely wouldn't take her word on it. Enjoy your posters and block the haters. You can make your social media accounts entirely private while it all cools down.
Urbanyeti0 says:
NTA you’re response is 100% correct, someone claiming they’re stolen is very convenient when it’s that much.