'AITA for rejecting a girl with the exact same phrase she rejected me in the past?'
"AITA for rejecting a girl with the exact same phrase she rejected me in the past?"
I (26M) asked out C (28F) 3.5 years ago and got rejected because she was looking for something different, a guy that is different. I respected that, but as it was my first time asking someone out, it made me question my personality overall.
It has been years since then, and I’ve had two long-term relationships. I am in a much better situation now, and I understand what I want out of life and relationships. I’ve also put my life together with a house and a career.
I was at my friend’s wedding last week, and C was also there. She came and talked to me during the reception, and we caught up on life. As the evening went on, we both got tipsy and hooked up at the end of the night. In the morning, she told me we should go on a date, but I rejected her.
She was confused and asked me why. I told her I am looking for something and someone different right now. She paused for a second and got redder than a fresh tomato. She was about to say something, but I shut her down and left the hotel.
To be frank, I really am looking for something different. I don’t see the potential for a lifetime partnership with her and don’t want to drag her along by going on dates. She is quite boring, and sometimes I wonder how I was attracted to her in the past. We’ve both changed in the end, I guess.
Yesterday, I was catching up with friends, and they told me that she is really angry about what I did, and they also think it wasn’t cool. I asked how they knew, and they told me she spoke about it in their girls' group.
I told them I just cannot see myself in a relationship with her, and that’s it. However, this has made me question if I made an AH move. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Zornorph says:
NTA. You both got tipsy at a wedding. You don’t owe her anything. If she actually remembered the line she used to reject you, I’d be willing to bed that she’s used it before on other guys and it’s her stock reply.
That’s why she got upset, she’s used to being the rejector, not the reject. If you had plotted to bang her and dump her, that would be an AH thing to do, but it was just a casual hookup that happened by chance. Don’t waste another moment worrying about it.
Magdovus says:
Shooting her down the morning after, using the same line she used on you makes you look like an a%^#ole when she tells her friends what happened. I'm not judging but that's just how things are.
tnscatterbrain says:
Using the same words that she did makes it sound like you’ve been bitter and seething about her rejecting you for all these years. NTA for the rejection or the reason, but using the exact phrasing? Not a good look.