'AITA for not attending a wedding because I was asked to come alone for my ex?'
"AITA for rejecting their wedding invitation?"
MongooseMission528 writes:
My partner (43F) and I (44F) were invited to a wedding last year for a couple tying the knot this October. I’ve known both of them for many years, so naturally, I planned to bring my partner as my plus-one.
Since I pretty much grew up with them, they’ve also met a few of my former partners over the years, including one who was a long-term girlfriend. I have absolutely no issue with this, and they’re actually friends with that ex of mine.
To be honest, things just didn’t work out between us, and while we both wanted different things—she dreamed of a lavish wedding and a marriage on paper, while my values shifted over time—we parted on fairly amicable terms. There was some hurt, as with any breakup, but nothing insurmountable. We’ve both moved on, and as far as I know, she’s happily dating someone else.
So, imagine my surprise when I received an email just yesterday from the bride and groom informing me that, since my ex will be at the wedding, they felt it best that I not bring my partner to avoid any potential drama from the past. Now, mind you, my partner and I have been together for five years, so this isn’t some short fling.
We’ve built something real and solid, and I think it’s absurd that, at our ages (we’re all in our 40s and 50s), the couple would feel the need to make such a request. It seems rather inconsiderate, and my partner, who’s always been supportive, even thinks it was a bit of a backhanded decision. She suggested I go without her, but I know it’s been bothering her.
I ultimately decided not to attend the wedding. I made it clear to the couple that this was an event I wanted to share with my partner, and if they’d rather have me attend without her, I simply wouldn’t be there. I had no idea my decision would cause such a stir.
The couple was genuinely shocked that I declined the invitation, and they expressed disappointment, saying they thought I would be there for them on their special day. But in all honesty, if this is how they were going to handle the situation, it wasn’t the kind of support I was prepared to offer. AITA?
Here are the top rated comments:
CeramicSavage says:
NTA. An invitation is not a summons. They can choose not to include your partner and you can choose not to go. They made their choice and you made yours.
PetalLoom says:
NTA, I don't know why they would say that knowing you had your partner for years. And I don't think you would be the one causing drama.
wall2k4 says:
NTA. You’re supporting your partner as you should. Their email asking you to not bring your partner did not come out of nowhere though. There has to be some animosity from your ex that you aren’t aware of. Might want to check into that.
Miserable_Prompt7164 says:
NTA, you made the right decision. It's just weird.