'AITA for ruining a vacation for my future MIL because she's not street smart?'
"AITA for "ruining" a vacation for my future MIL"
Initial-Midnight-251 writes:
I (25F) am a mixed individual who was born and raised in South Africa, specifically Cape Town. My family and I moved to Canada when I was 16, and it was when I was studying here for university that I met my fiancé (24M).
My fiancé’s mom (54F) has always been someone who loves to travel, so I wasn't surprised when at our last family dinner she announced her plans to take the family on vacation again. However, she announced that this year's family trip would be to Cape Town.
I was immediately concerned for a number of reasons. As someone who grew up there, I can confirm that the area has high crime rates and can be very dangerous, especially for women, and I know she is planning on taking her daughter (17F) with her.
I was shocked when she mentioned that this was her plan. She immediately began asking me questions: what did I think about the vacation, did I want to come with them, what should she pack? I was (and still am) very concerned for her safety, as she isn't exactly a "street-smart" person.
It must have been clear on my face because she asked why I looked so shocked. I told her outright that if I were her, I would reconsider the destination, as while it is gorgeous, it is not a safe place to travel to without prior experience or a close friend to help you, especially with a teenage girl in your travel party.
Almost immediately, she accused me of being "rude" and "discouraging." She said that she had been excited about this trip and that I was trying to "ruin" it for her. She even went as far as to imply that my mixed heritage had tainted how I viewed the city. My fiancé and I left immediately. He says I did the right thing by trying to keep them safe, but I still feel awful. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Donutsmell says:
NTA. She asked what you thought. You told her. You weren’t trying to be mean or rain on her parade; you were trying keep her safe.
giantbrownguy says:
NTA. You’re protecting her from her own ignorance. Rather she be offended than murdered. She’s being incredibly naive about the safety risks in a place like Cape Town for a non-local.
ConflictGullible392 says:
Cape Town is a very popular tourist destination. I’ve been there and had no issues. To be fair she did ask, so NAH, but YTA if you keep pushing the point.
plant_planet1 says:
Gentle YTA. Cape Town is rated one of the best cities on Earth, and while yes it can be dangerous in parts, those sections are not frequented by tourists. For someone who was born in Cape Town, you've adopted the quintessential American mindset that "Africa is so dangerous". Tell you MIL to stay out of the Cape Flats and to enjoy her trip. I work in law enforcement in Cape Town so I know what I'm talking about.