'AITA for snapping at my sister after she told my son he wasn't really family?'
"AITA for snapping at my sister after she told my son he wasn't really family?"
I am 32 and have a 9 year old son called Adam. He is not my biological son but I became his guardian when he was 3 after his mom passed away. His dad was never around and I wanted to keep him from going into foster care, so I took him in. I have raised him since then and he calls me Dad because that is what I am to him.
Everyone in my family knows this and it is not a secret. Adam also knows he is adopted but we keep things simple because he is still young. My sister, who is 29, has always been kind of weird about it. She never says anything rude directly but makes little comments like calling me his guardian or uncle dad. I usually ignore it because Adam never seemed to notice.
Last weekend at my mom's dinner, Adam was showing my sister his school project and said he wanted to make Dad proud. My sister laughed and said, "Well technically he is not really your family but I am sure he is proud anyway."
Adam went quiet and stopped talking. I could see he was hurt. I asked my sister what her problem was, and she said she was just telling the truth and that someone needed to be honest before Adam grew up.
I lost my temper and told her she was way out of line and if she cannot respect my son then she should stay away from him. She got mad and said I overreacted and embarrassed her in front of everyone. My mom is trying to stay neutral but said I did not need to make a scene.
Adam barely spoke the rest of the night and when we got home he asked me if he would be allowed to stay with me forever. That broke my heart. Later my sister texted me saying I owe her an apology for blowing up and that I am too sensitive because he is not my real kid. I have not replied. So am I wrong for yelling at her and telling her to stay away until she can be respectful?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
CookieUpload says:
TBH, NTA. You are this kid's parent in every way that matters. He sees you as his dad, respects you, and it is clear he needs you. If your sister cannot respect that bond, she is the one who needs a reality check, not Adam. Family is not just about DNA, it is about love and commitment, which you have clearly shown. Stay strong. Adam is lucky to have you.
MelodyRaine says:
NTA "Mom, your daughter broke a nine year old's heart out of spite. Maybe try reparenting the child who actually behaved badly instead of the one defending your grandson... unless you agree with your daughter's garbage behaviors? Because if that's the case then there's about to be a serious problem."
KmjbsiR says:
NTA. And this is the kind of situation where neutrality doesn't exist. Your mom either accepts your son as family or she doesn't. Your sister has obviously picked a position.
grayblue_grrl says:
NTA. NEVER speak to your sister again. You have chosen your family and SHE is not in it. She's a hateful woman who would hurt A child. YOUR CHILD. I'd let her rot.