'AITA for snapping at my partner for waking me up at 3 AM asking me questions I can't answer?''
"AITA for snapping at SO for asking me questions I cannot know."
throwawaypersonx writes:
Woken up at 3 a.m. by a jumpy SO telling me there is someone in the attic. I get up, rubbing my eyes, and check the hatch, which is closed. No ladder present below the hatch means no one got in there from the hatch. I put my ladder there and check the attic—empty. I hear something running on the roof at this point—probably a cat.
I get down, and SO is panicking, asking what I saw. I tell her there’s nothing in the attic, maybe something on the roof. She wants to call the cops and is asking a hundred questions. I ask her to wait while I check it out to settle her down.
I circle the house twice, shining a bright torch over the roof. I don’t see anything there. I go back inside and explain that I went around the house twice, shining the torch on the roof. There is no one there. But I am bombarded with:
“Who was it then?” — No one. “Who could it have been?” — No one was there. “What were they doing on the roof?” — I don’t even know if someone was there. “How could they have gotten up there?” — I don’t know.
“How do you not know? Take a guess.” — I don’t think anyone was there. Probably a cat running around. “You need to go speak with the neighbors to see if they saw something while I call the cops.” — I am not going to wake the neighbors at 3 a.m., and you are not calling the cops. Just go to bed.
“No, you need to go speak with the neighbors because you don’t know anything. You don’t know who it was, what they were doing there, or how they got up there.” "Listen, I don’t know who was there. I cannot know this. I don’t know what they were doing there. I cannot know this.
I don’t know how they got up there. If you want to ask hypothetically, then maybe they flew there, maybe they parachuted off a plane and landed there, maybe it was Spider-Man. I just don’t know because I cannot know. I have walked around the house and found nothing. You think me waking the neighbor will solve the mystery even though he knows less than us?"
She is pissed off now, saying it was a stressful situation and that I should have been cooperative and understanding of her feelings, but instead, I was a real a%@$ole. No matter which way I look at it, I can’t figure out where I went wrong. I am not in the best mood at 3 a.m.
Here are the top rated comments.
CandylandCanada says:
NTA. Turn it around: "Yes, it *was* stressful, so maybe YOU should have been cooperative and understanding that I don't have all the answers, and neither do you." Sheesh. Just because SHE decides that neighbours need to be disturbed and the police called doesn't mean that's an appropriate reaction. It's HER reaction, not yours. You are allowed to have differing opinions.
PielSucker69 says:
Your SO needs to see a therapist. Seriously needs a therapist. This behavior is nuts. NTA!
Mountain-Blood-7374 says:
NAH, but reading this—does she normally act this way? As someone who has dealt with paranoia and isn’t always fully there (especially after being woken up in the middle of the night), this sounds like it’s on the verge of, if not already, paranoia to the point of delusion.
The questions, to me—as someone who’s been there—sound like, in her mind, she knows someone was there, and she is in an unwell state of mind. Maybe this is normal for her and it’s nothing, or maybe it’s just the middle-of-the-night dream fog. But it comes across as irrational and concerning. If this is how she normally is, I’d lean more toward NTA. Just reading this is setting off alarm bells for me.'
_TiberiusPrime_ says:
NTA. Hand her a flashlight so she can look herself. Then go back to sleep.