"AITA for selling my Pokémon card collection to help pay bills even though my wife is mad about it?"
My wife (30F) and I (32M) have been going through a rough financial patch over the past few months. Nothing catastrophic, but between rising bills, groceries, and some unexpected expenses, money has been tighter than we are used to. We have had several conversations about needing to cut back on spending and be more careful financially.
For context, I have had a Pokémon card collection since I was a kid. Over the years, I added to it, took good care of it, and it means a lot to me sentimentally. Some of the cards are worth a decent amount of money now, but I never planned on selling them unless I absolutely had to.
Recently, I realized we were starting to fall behind on a couple of bills, so I decided to sell part of my collection. It was not an easy decision, but I felt that helping stabilize our finances was more important than holding onto cardboard, even if it was meaningful to me. The money helped cover bills and relieved a lot of my personal stress about our situation.
Here is where the issue begins. While I have been trying to cut spending, my wife has continued going out with friends fairly often. She goes to brunches, shopping trips, concerts, and weekend outings. I have tried bringing up budgeting and cutting back together, but she usually says she needs those activities for her mental health and social life.
When she found out I sold my collection, she got very upset. She said I should have talked to her first because she knows how much the collection meant to me. She also said I was being dramatic and that there were other ways we could have handled the bills. I pointed out that I have been trying to reduce spending while she has not really changed her habits, and that is when the argument escalated.
Now she says I am guilt tripping her and making her feel like she is irresponsible with money. I told her I am not trying to attack her, but I feel frustrated that I sacrificed something important to me while she is still spending on things that do not feel necessary given our situation. She thinks I made a rash decision and is upset that I sold something sentimental. I feel like I was trying to be responsible and help both of us. So, AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
KarpGrinder says:
NTA. "Now she says I am guilt tripping her and making her feel like she is irresponsible with money." This is a manipulation tactic commonly referred to as "DARVO", she knows her behavior is/was wrong - but she wants you to be blamed so she can play the role of "victim". Is this normal behavior of hers?
GreekAmericanDom says:
NTA. Your wife is irresponsible with money. You are in fact being responsible.
RaineMist says:
NTA. If she's upset that you sold part of your collection to stay on top of everything, then she should be cutting back too so that you won't have to stay on top of everything by yourself.
KrofftSurvivor says:
NTA. Hope y'all don't have kids because your wife is not compatible with someone who wants to build a financially stable life.