'AITA for getting hurt when my self-centered friend accused me of making everything about me?'

"AITA for taking space from a friend who told me that 'not everything is about me'?"

spicyyoga writes:

This weekend, I invited my friend M (20F) to visit my sister with me for fun. Just for context on things I have done for her, just last Monday, I drove two hours to pick her up from the airport.

The whole ride back, she didn’t ask me a single thing about myself, even though I had just accepted a big job offer across the country. She talked about how great her trip was but didn’t offer to pay for gas or dinner, which I let slide since I’ve done things like this for her before.

When we got to my sister’s, we went out to dinner with my hometown friends, and throughout the night, M kept jumping in with stories, mostly about her boyfriend, as if she was trying to one-up everyone. The next day, M and I both had homework, but my sister and I went to the store, got the chicken and fries M requested, and made her dinner. She didn’t offer to pay, but again, I didn’t bring it up.

Later, we went to a bar, but M and I went to a different one from my friends since she’s 20. When I told her I was leaving to meet up with my other friends, which she was invited to come to, she got upset and said, “Not everything is about you all the time.”

Those words hurt deeply. I grabbed my drunk sister, Ubered home, and cried. I asked my other friend (who is also M’s friend) if M could stay with her because I was really hurt by M, especially given things she’s said to me in the past, like “You’re too quirky for him” or “He wouldn’t like you because he likes models.”

The next morning, M and I didn’t speak. On the way home, my friend texted M privately, asking if she was going to apologize. M eventually said, “Are we going to talk about last night?” I told her I was upset, but she immediately got defensive, saying, “You ruined my relationship with your friends.” She made it about how I’d made her look bad instead of taking responsibility for what she’d said.

After all that, I realized I needed space. I told her I couldn’t keep putting so much effort into a friendship where I didn’t feel appreciated. I’m taking time away from M now to process everything and figure out if this friendship is even worth continuing.

Here are the top rated comments from readers.

JeepersCreepers74 says:

NTA. I feel like the phrase "main character syndrome" is so overdone, but M definitely has it. It's not that she's not thanking you for spending money on her, etc., she seriously just expects it.

She didn't want to go to the bar to meet up with your other friends because she knew that you would be the center of attention in that group rather than her. I think you're right to take a break from her, she sounds like too much work.

benisch2 says:

NTA - when she said "not everything's about you" she was really saying "everything is about me". I don't think this person is actually your friend.

Potential_Narwhal122 says:

Where did they say "not everything is about you"? She's not a good friend, and when she leaves, I'd either just ghost her, or outline exactly why you can't be friends any longer. Wow. NTA, but she sure is!

OP responded:

We were at the bar, she was hardly tips.

What do you think?