'I think my husband is changing. Everything I do, he says I can’t because I'll make our son gay.'
"I (27F) think my husband (26M) is becoming a homophobe. Everything I do, he says I can’t do around our son (5-year-old) because I will make him gay."
I’ve heard a few remarks over the last three years but tonight has gone too far. First time he started telling me i’m going to make our son gay was when I let my son draw my makeup on my face because he was watching me put it on and kept asking if he could do it too.
He was 3 almost 4. I took out some cheap palettes and let him mark up my face. I didn’t teach him where anything goes. He got bored fairly quickly and laughed at how funny mom looks. Second time was when I brought back some childhood toys from home and my son was playing with my My Little Ponies.
He was just making them walk around and driving them in his cars. He also liked sticking them on the fridge. He said I need to keep them away from him because he doesn’t want me influencing him. That was a year ago. Third time was tonight. I was showing him a house renovation that Trixie Mattel(drag queen) and her husband did.
I watched all of the episodes at work(background noise) but wanted to show my husband the house reveal because there were aspects i thought he would love. I said “Gay men seriously know how to make a beautiful house, this work is stunning. There is a room i think you would love, it’s a music room/bar."
He said “yeah no they don’t know how to renovate, I don’t think I would love anything from this” and he laughed. I was honestly disgusted. And I said “what because they’re gay?? When did you start having a grudge against gay people” he said “I hung out with them so much the way they talk is so unnatural and I don’t like hearing it anymore."
He then noticed our son was looking at the TV and was like “no you don’t need to be looking at this, he doesn’t need to see this” And that’s when I got really mad. Yes it was Trixie on tv walking around showing her house with her husband. Her drag was in no way provocative or inappropriate. Literally they were doing a house tour.
No men kissing. Just a house. I said “no I’m not doing this, when did you become so homophobic, there is nothing wrong on the tv” and he said “well you watch this all the time” and I said “no i don’t ever watch this stuff, you always say negative stuff about anything I do that’s girly. That’s not how becoming gay works, him seeing a house tour”
I just learned who Trixie (I knew who she was but not WHO she was) was yesterday. literally from watching house remodels on TikTok. So as of yesterday, I watch one drag queen's house reveal and now our son is doomed.
Is he being overbearing and controlling or am I really being inappropriate around my son?? I'm starting to feel like he’s just being controlling. Like every time I do something he always has something negative to say. Makes me want to pack up all of my sparkle to just make him shut up.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
jellybeans1396 wrote:
Your husband isn't becoming a homophobe – he already is one.
OP responded:
I’ve just never really heard his say anything our ten years of marriage and then these last three years…now I’m noticing him becoming hateful.
Istoleyourboobs wrote:
You can\t really control someone being gay. You could restrict him from all feminine TV shows, hobbies, clothing etc and one day when hes 19 he could realize he just wants to date men. Your husband's an overbearing dick. Gay people have always existed even before physical media.
OP responded:
This is true.
Predatory_Chicken wrote:
I’m sorry to say but your husband isn’t just homophobic. He’s incredibly stupid and sexist as well. Based on your other post, there is no way this marriage is actually making your life happier or better in anyway.
Whatever it is that has made you so insecure that you settled for this relationship. You need to stop letting it lead your life. It has lead you into this crappy situation and now you’ve dragged your son along for the ride.
ellyanah wrote:
He is equating what he thinks are "feminine" traits with being gay. That's both homophobic and misogynistic. As if the worst thing for a boy to be is like a girl and that letting a boy act like a girl will make him gay. Yikes!
Neither of those things is true. Honestly he is majestically ignorant and does not deserve to be a parent. I would honestly have a serious conversation about why he thinks liking feminine-coded things are bad and why he thinks that you can make people gay. If he doesn't commit to therapy to change his views then I'd leave him.
Tequilaiswater wrote:
Look, you need to put your son first. After reading your last post…what the hell are you still doing with that abusive leech? Your son will treat his wife the way your husband treats you, if you don’t get out of there. While I do have sympathy for you, it’s time for you to wake up and give your son a good life while you still have the chance.
FYI, your husband wouldn’t leave you for sex. He’s trying to manipulate you and make YOU feel bad so that you will put out more. Either that or he cheats because that how little he respects you. But leave? You’ll have to be the one doing that.
yournewhabit wrote:
Gotta get all the gay smut you can find and make your husband watch it Clockwork Orange style!! Then ask him if he is suddenly craving some action. No? Then being exposed to extreme media didn’t “turn” him gay. I guess playing with a freaking horse won’t do it. 😒 The amount of stuff dudes say is gay.
Please help to put a flat tire on this. Or else you’ll end up with a son that won’t eat bananas, wipe or wash himself, refuse to ever bend over, or carry grocery bags. 🙄 Please! We don’t need anymore boys who think washing themselves is gay!!