'I think my husband might be cheating on me but my evidence isn't very good. How do I deal with it?' UPDATED

"I (35F) think my husband (37M) might be cheating on me but my evidence isn't very good. How to deal with it?"

So two weeks ago, I unexpectedly broke my phone when I dropped it. I was without a phone for a few days, and I had to make a calls to family and friends. I take my husband's phone (with his consent, of course).

When I was looking for one person in his contacts, I noticed that he had someone signed as " love". Honestly, I found this a bit odd, as he's usually the type to refer to everyone by name + where he knows them from. Even I'm not described as "wife" but as "OP's name."

Despite this, even when my husband changes his phone, he always has the same number and transfers all his stuff, some of his contacts are even from school. So I started wondering if it was some ex-girlfriend he'd forgotten about or something.

It bothered me, though, so the next day I approached him and said, "Hey, when I was using your phone, I noticed one weird contact referred as "love" and it's bothering me. Could you explain it to me?". His answer surprised me a bit because he said "good that you mentioned it, I was just thinking about calling them."

To put it as simply as possible: "love" is a pizzeria which we use sometimes. The thing is... I'm 100% sure "love" only became a pizzeria after I used his phone. I don't remember the entire number, but I do remember the last two digits. Let's say it was something like "11." The pizzeria's number ends with something like "33."

I can't stop thinking about it. I have a feeling that because my phone broke unexpectedly, he didn't have time to change "love" to something else, but he knew I'd ask, so he switched after I'd finished using his phone.

On the other hand, we've been together for 7 years and he's never been secretive, he never hid his phone, and I've never seen anyone signed as "love" call him. But ever since this thought popped into my head, I can't stop wondering. But how do I approach this? Do I have the right to ask him to look through his phone? How can I trust him?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

Lost_Drunken_Sailor wrote:

Only an idiot would save a number as “love” or something similar if they were cheating.

changelingcd wrote:

This. If there was a random woman's number saved as Pizza Hut, that would be better evidence.

SnooRecipes9891 wrote:

Since you've been together for 7 years without incident, you'll need to give him the benefit of the doubt. However, I'd still be monitoring his behavior and paying closer attention to anything that is off routine. Is he going to gym more, special new attention to hygiene, just anything that isn't regular. I'm not saying let it consume your life, just observe.

Fluffy-Resident8420 wrote:

If you are still concerned, drop the issue for a few weeks so he isn't on guard, but keep eyes open. Then you can dig a little deeper. Check his phone records for frequent numbers and find out what calling apps he has. Either you'll find something or you'll be able to stop worrying.

Two days later, OP shared an update.

Hi internet,

First, I want to apologize for not responding to my previous post. I wrote it before leaving the house, and I immediately fell asleep when I got home.

Now, today's events: I decided to take a chance. While my husband was taking a bath, I used his phone. I found two numbers that matched the first one 11, but one of them was his sister's, so that was out. I wrote down the second number on a piece of paper. I quickly put the phone away.

But ten minutes later, my husband was still in the bathroom, so I took a chance again and checked his phone again. He and this number exchange two phone numbers every day: when he should be at work and when I'm already asleep (I fall asleep first, my husband goes to bed a little after midnight).

They also had a lot of messages, but all of them from my husband boiled down to "how are you feeling?" and "do you need anything?" No photos. When it was time for me to go for a running, I took my phone and the number I had written down. I ran to the park, and called there. A woman answered almost immediately. An elderly lady.

A truly elderly lady. Not his grandmother or anyone else in the family. But she was the "love." This is where it gets even weirder: I told her I was a friend of (my husband's name). She told me she didn't know who I was talking about, and I could tell from her voice that she wasn't lying.

She was genuinely confused. So I said that I was talking about the person she talks and texts with every day. She said, "Oh, you mean (definitely not my husband's name)?". I said yes. We had a conversation in which she praised him and called him her "another soulmate." and "true angel."

She also asked me not to tell "(my husband's) wife" about our conversation and that he helped her every day and asked me when he can visited her again. I was very confused. I made up a quick excuse and hung up. I got home an hour ago and...I still don't know what to do. I'm more confused than last time.

The internet kept the comments coming.

FairyCompetent wrote:

When you get home say "I called that number and spoke with the woman you text every day. Why does she think your name is x?" Just ask directly and don't let up until you have an answer.

Historical_Kick_3294 wrote:

100% this. OP needs to be really direct.

ChickenScratchCoffee wrote:

I hope he isn’t scamming her. That was my first thought with an elderly lady. Because if he was just going there to do good deeds, why wouldn’t he tell you that and why would she say don’t tell his wife? Put the piece of paper with her number on the table and ask him to explain himself. See what he says.

My_sloth_life wrote:

Do you think she’s old enough to have dementia and I hate to say it but is he either looking after her or taking advantage of her?

MaddestMissy wrote:

If he was looking after her why using a fake name and making it such a secret? My best guess is he is scamming her. Can’t even be "just“ a dodgy hoping for inheritance move since he is using a fake name.

JHawk444 wrote:

Is it possible the woman he's talking to lives with the elderly woman?

OP responded:

She didn't mention anyone else.

Expression-Little wrote:

My first thought was that he is scamming an elderly lady who possibly has dementia. Do you have any kind of access to his financial records? Has he made any large purchases recently? Any big vacations?

OP responded:

Yes, no and no.

Taylor5 wrote:

I find this very strange, why can't you just ask him?

OP responded:

Now? I think I'm afraid of the answer. The affair already sounded scary, but this...what if he's really taking advantage of some old woman?

Taylor5 wrote:

Could be a million and one different things, but like you said the little old lady said to thank him. Could be helping her, could be anything. Don't know unless you ask him. Instead you are coming to reddit and created a conspiracy that we are now all to nosey to let go of lol Mate, I would rather my mrs came to me and asked me honestly what is going on.

I have nothing to hide so I would be honest and open. I'd give my mrs my phone right away if she asked.