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'I suspect my wife is planning to ruin her little sister's wedding.'

'I suspect my wife is planning to ruin her little sister's wedding.'

"I think my wife is planning to ruin her little sisters wedding, she won't show me the dress she plans to wear."

My wife's younger sister who she has a lot of drama with is getting married and recently my wife has been acting really secretive about things like her phone and going out with her friends a lot.

Also she'd normally want to show me what she plans on wearing to big events like this but with her sisters wedding she just says she wants it to be a surprise. I want to trust her but with some of the context it has me worried so I'd like some advice about how best I talk about this with her.

Now you my wife has always said her parents play favourites, I don't think that's true but it's how she thinks and when it comes to her youngest sister she has played a few pranks in the past so I'm worried she will do something she can't take back.

For context my farther in law is a bit of a self made man, he has a good amount of money now but that wasn't always the case there was a time in fact where money was tight which was when my wife was a little kid.

From the stories I've heard for the first ten plus years of my wife's childhood money was tight however around that my farther in law's business took off in a big way so suddenly he had money and as a result he wanted to give his younger kids the stuff he hadn't been able to give my wife.

to be clear he's since having money he's always tried to give my wife stuff as well but the contrasting childhoods has always been something that has been hard for my wife. plus it doesn't help that thanks to another bump in the business after my wife was already in college my farther in law was able to help the younger kids out more than he had my wife.

me and her were already dating by that time so I can tell you my farther in law did a lot to make it up to her like paying her student loans off [did the same for me as well by the way] also when my got married he gave us a house as a wedding present so my perspective is he's a very generous man.

My wife has difficulty seeing all the things that man does for her plus our son by the way so sometimes she can get a little jealous. To be clear most of the time this isn't an issue, my wife is a great mother to our son, she very supportive of some unusual hobbies I have and we make time to do stuff as a couple.

At least that used to be the case until his sister said she was getting married and ever since then a lot of all that good stuff has stopped and it feels to me like this is all we talk about.

for a bit more context me and my wife had something of a quick wedding, my grandfather who had always been more like farther to me was dying so I wanted to get married quickly and as a result the wedding was kind a small event.

Personally I enjoyed the day however my wife's sister had a long engagement and her husband to be comes from a big family so the whole winter wedding is shaping up to be a big event which in turn is creating some comparison to our wedding.

I expected this might lead to a few arguments with my wife but recently it feels like all she does is compare our wedding to what her sister is planning and talking about how unfair it is.

she's even compared me to her sisters soon to be husband a few times which is a bit hurtful, especially considering the man has gotten really distant with me over the last year and I actually would have said we were friends before.

We've stopped doing a lot of stuff together as well, we used to make time for date nights or family days but now she's always ends up spending more time at work or going out for fun days with her girlfriends.

this last part is why I'm starting to get worried, I have nothing against my wife's friends but they can encourage her worst self sometimes plus there's the fact she has started being very cagey with her phone.

Also I should mention I talked to one of them yesterday and they lied and said they hadn't seen her recently which is really starting to worry me and again I say she keeps telling her dress for the wedding is a surprise.

now this could all be in my head but I'm really worried she's planning to wear white or something like that, our son is going to be the ring bearer so I don't want him to see him mum do something like that. At the same time though I don't want to accuse my wife of something if this really is all in my head so could people on here please tell me how I best talk to my wife about all these concerns I have.

This is what people had to say to OP:

said:

If you two are traveling together to the wedding in the same car when she shows you what she’s wearing if it’s inappropriate, just refuse to go

said:

All the 🚩🚩🚩🚩flying. Not the least of which is the wedding drama. Your wife needs therapy. It sounds like her entire world view is comparing/b!tching and resenting what her sibling got and what she views that she didn’t. First, I think she’s been saying stuff about you behind your back to your FBIL so now he’s giving you the cold shoulder.

Second, she might be having an affair that her friends are covering for her. The lies and the phone hiding are concerning. Regarding the wedding, I think she’s planning on wearing a white/wedding type dress to her sister’s wedding cause that’s what unhinged/jealous people do. Basically none of these scenarios are going to end well. It might be time to covertly hire a PI.🤷🏻‍♀️

said:

I think you pre-empt it by saying something like: I can't wait to see what you are wearing! I bet you will look amazing. I have seen so many stories about bitter sisters wearing white to their siblings weddings and embarrassing themselves and their families and I am so glad you are classier than that.

She knows where you stand then. If she wears white and you see it before you get there, tell her if she wears that she needs to stay far away from you and your kid because you are not going to be linked to this type of behaviour.

And said:

You think your wife is planning a revenge.

Your wife is going out more without you.

Your wife has gotten very secretive with her phone.

Your wife is unfavorably comparing you to your future brother in law.

Your future brother in law has grown distant.

Brother, I don’t know how to break it to you but this isn’t about a dress

Sources: Reddit
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