'I told my fiancé I would not take care of an English Bulldog if we got one.' AITA?
"AITA? I told my fiancé I would not take care of an English bulldog if we got one..."
My fiancé has always been around bulldogs, they were his childhood pets & naturally, he absolutely loves them. Some of his close family members are part of the national kennel club, show them in dog shows & breed them (all registered with proper health testing etc & very much NOT backyard breeders).
In the event we would own a bulldog, we would likely receive a “top of the line” bred dog with a championship winning bloodline. I am not a huge dog person to begin with, but I especially am not a fan of this breed. I don’t like them for a variety of reasons which I’ll list below, but my main protest is that due to our work situation, I would be responsible for 90% of its care.
I am 100% prepared to take care of & love a family pet, however I’ve made it clear that I do not want a bulldog & I’m not willing to provide the extensive level of daily care they require.
To provide background as to why I don’t like/don’t want a bulldog: I don’t think they are an ethical dog breed. I don’t support their breeding, I don’t want to contribute to that market nor do I want to own such a controversial breed.
The extensive health issues & potential for super high vet bills. He argues that their breathing is perfectly healthy however I strongly disagree. We also plan to move to a hot climate within 5-10 yrs which isn’t really compatible with a bulldog due to their heat sensitivity.
High maintenance daily cleaning of their skin folds, ears, & tail would be my responsibility & honestly I’m just not down for that. They’re not an active dog. I want a dog I can take hiking or on adventures, not a dog that can’t handle a 45 minute walk.
I’m not a fan of their personalities. Their hair is so coarse it makes me itchy all over, irritates my nose & eyes, & it sticks to absolutely everything. The snoring & snarling noises. I’m a light sleeper.
The reason I’m posting is because my fiancé & I frequently disagree on this topic. Today I told him that with him working away/long hours while I’m at home all the time, it wouldn’t be fair to me or the dog for us to own one because I’m not willing to provide such extensive daily care.
I understand & respect that he loves this breed but I genuinely don’t want the burden of responsibility shoved onto me just so he can own the dog breed he had as a kid.
I feel like I could be the AH since I’m pretty much telling him I wouldn’t take care of an innocent animal and that’s obviously not right, however I also feel like I might not be the AH because this rn is all hypothetical since we don’t own one & I’m just trying to convey the point that we SHOULDN’T own one.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
throwingutah said:
NTA. You're saying "I don't want a bulldog because comprehensive list of reasons." He's saying "I want a bulldog because bulldog." You should win this one even if you weren't doing all the work.
BucketOBits said:
NTA. Not just for the reasons you list as to why this is a problematic breed, but because couples need to be on the same page when it comes to pets and there absolutely are lots of other options out there. You’re not saying you don’t want any dog at all—you’re open to a variety of them. He’s only open to one type, which isn’t a reasonable position.
Spirited-Hall-2805 said:
NTA. I suggest you volunteer for a cat rescue. Foster then adopt the best cat once you meet them. Very biased because I was a dog person without time to commit to properly care for a dog. I felt that cats were alright, so the perfect pet to foster because I wouldn't cry when they were adopted.
This worked for over 15 cats. Then I met my angel cat. The best cat in the world. She passed away last week and I loved every moment wth her. She was a calm dog in a cats body. Friendly and cuddly and full of love.
shelwood46 said:
NTA. Your fiance is presumably not 6 years old. If he wants this dog, then he needs to be available and actually do the extensive care necessary for this purebred expensive dog, not just want it and expect you to take care of it.
Maybe when he's no longer away so much and can actually take care of the dog he wants, like a grown up, he could consider it again. You cannot get a dog and expect someone else to take care of it unless, again, you are a very small child.
Thriillsy said:
NTA. This is one of those things that, in a relationship, is a two yes/one no situation. knowing that you are not willing, able or capable of providing the level of care that a bulldog needs is one of the best reasons to not get the animal.
What you both need to keep in mind is that almost all dogs can be high maintenance, It's just that the maintenance they require is different depending on the breed.
I highly recommend that you look into specific breeds that you think of when you say "normal" dog, Because. You may find more dogs that you are not willing to provide the type of care they require Or are just as expensive, if not more so, than a bulldog.
HedgieTwiggles said:
NTA. I really wanted a cat. My partner would have liked to have a cat, too. My partner is allergic to them. I was not willing to make him miserable because I wanted a pet. It is not fair to ask a partner to put up with a pet that makes them physically or mentally uncomfortable in their own home. If he wants pupper play time, he can volunteer to help socialize dogs at a shelter.
SpiteWestern6739 said:
NTA, if he doesn't have the time to care for a specific type of pet, then he cannot have that type of pet. It is as simple as that