'AITA for being the reason my friend canceled her wedding after her bachelorette?'
"AITA for accidentally getting my best friend's wedding canceled?"
FrostGlistenss writes:
I (27F) have been best friends with Amy (28F) for years. She has been with this guy Jake for about three years, and honestly, he is a walking red flag. He is super controlling, jealous, and always checking her location.
Once, he called her nine times while we were just shopping at Target. Amy keeps defending him, saying he is just protective because he cares so much. Whatever. At her bachelorette party, it was supposed to be a fun girls' night, but Jake kept blowing up her phone.
Texts, FaceTimes, asking where she was, accusing her of acting single. She kept leaving to call him back, crying and apologizing, while the rest of us sat there awkwardly. After about the fourth time she left the table, I just lost it.
When she came back, I said loud enough for the whole table to hear, "You are not marrying a husband, you are signing up for a lifetime of being babysat by a jealous manchild." Amy started crying and ran out of the bar. Half the girls followed her.
Later that night, her mom called me, drunk, thanking me, because apparently they have all been worried about Jake but did not know how to stop the wedding. Her mom told Amy that if she goes through with the wedding, they will not pay for it.
Now Amy has blocked Jake, moved out of their apartment, and moved back into her parents' house. But she also blocked me for humiliating her. Half our friend group is saying I did the right thing. The other half is calling me jealous and toxic for blowing up her relationship right before the wedding. So... AITA?
Here are some of the comments.
Dull_Professor9082 says:
NTA, you didn’t "ruin" anything, you just said out loud what everyone else was too scared to. Better a few tears now than a lifetime of misery.
OP responded:
That’s exactly how I feel. It hurt in the moment but I would rather deal with her hating me for a while than watch her waste years being miserable. I just hope one day she sees it that way too.
Tamika_Olivia says:
No good deed goes unpunished. You did the right thing. She was going to be in for a lifetime of misery. But that doesn’t mean she is going to like you for it. I’m sorry, hopefully she’ll come around. But don’t doubt yourself here.
Velharthis009 says:
I'm gonna come in with a big NTA. My sister asked me 5 times, the day of her wedding, that she was an hour late to, if she was making a mistake. I answered yes each and every time she asked, but told her it was ultimately her decision. I was gentle and kind about it Gentle and kind... Did. Not. Work.
He got physical and emotionally abusive, cheated on her, while isolating her from her friends and family. Even made her quite working when she was a nuclear engineer. It wasn't until her daughter told her she was scared and didn't see 'that man's her father that she left. You may have lost a friendship (hopefully temporarily) but most likely saved her life and future.