'AITA for telling my ex-friend's mother that homewrecking is a family tradition for them.'
"'AITA for telling an ex-friend's mother that I thought her family legacy was 'homewrecking?'"
Weak_Log4008 says:
Me, Katy, and Maya (fake names) were college roommates. We are all now in our early thirties. Katy got divorced two years ago because she caught her husband cheating with Maya. The stress was a lot, and she also miscarried violently, was in the hospital for a month, and suffered a psychological breakdown.
Maya was, apparently, too ashamed to even visit Katy or apologize in person, and our entire friend group cut her off. Katy's ex moved to another city, and no one kept in contact with him.
Throughout the entire time I've known Maya, her personality was shaped by being an affair baby. She was spoiled rotten by her mom, who was her dad's mistress, and has no remorse for it. Her very rich dad paid for her college flat, bought her a house, and covered her in money because he felt guilty that she came from a broken home.
Maya, however, kept on complaining about how she grew up poor (her mom is a PR manager and earns a lot) and how we wouldn't know what it was like to grow up like her. We felt very sorry for her, and both Katy and I babied her a lot.
Maya's mom, Lisa (fake name), actually defended her daughter when the affair came to light and told everyone that it was not her daughter's fault. Throughout these two years, Lisa has tried and failed to get Maya to reconnect with her friends, and Lisa has lost a lot of friends and relatives in the process because no one wants to associate with them.
Here is the issue: our alma mater has a very tight alumni network. Maya's actions resulted in no one being willing to be a reference when she wanted to change jobs. Our batch comes together every year and organizes a bake sale for a charity we worked with during undergrad. Maya was unofficially banned last year as no one wanted a scene.
This year, however, Maya and her mom turned up with cupcakes. Lots of them. Neither I nor my husband looked at or talked to them. Katy left as soon as they arrived, and I was seething. Lisa then was saying how these cupcakes are a family recipe and it's kind of their legacy. I then asked her:
"Really? I thought your family legacy was homewrecking." Maya turned red, and both she and her mom excused themselves and left. WITH THE CUPCAKES. Whatever. Later, one of our old classmates told me that he understood where I was coming from, but it might have been too rude.
Lisa texted me from a new number (her number is blocked) saying how I'm a sexist person who blames only women. I told her that as Katy's lawyer, I bled her ex dry in the divorce, and hopefully her daughter would have a genuine relationship someday with someone else's husband.
Lisa called me a b^@^h and hung up. My husband thinks I am right, but two more classmates have told me I was too harsh, and I am now doubting myself. AITA?
Here are the top comments:
Ready-Replacement181 says:
NTA (Not the A%^&ole), Maya hasn't even been women enough to face Katy, her and her mother tried to force their presence thinking nobody would create a scene. They got what they deserved. The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree.
CharmingComposer95 says:
She’s a coward and needed her mommy for backup. You don’t do that to your friends and think everyone will forgive you.
Kami_Sang says:
NTA - on point in identifying their legacy. Maya wants to still be friend's with Katy's friends and that's so outrageous - she deserved an outrageous yet true remark.
ThatKinLady says:
F^#$ing cupcakes? Maya and her Mom thought a bunch of cupcakes would smooth over ruining someone's life? I hate people that do horrible things and expect to be welcomed back when time has passed without actually making any amends. NTA. They should be hanging their heads in shame, especially Maya.
Mavakor says:
NTA. I only wish I was as good at coming up with lines like that on the spot. I'll have a confrontation, say nothing but then, hours later, will think of something really clever.
What do you think?