'AITA for telling my mom she should've stayed in California because we don't need her?'
"AITA for telling my mom she should have stayed in California?"
blueknittedcardigan writes:
Hi, I’m 22F. I wanted to ask if I am wrong for telling my mother she should have just stayed in California. Basically, she went on a week-and-a-half-long vacation with her fiancé, and while she was gone, I took care of my three younger siblings who are 14, 16, and 18.
This meant sending them to school and work, on top of our usual driving around to hang out and do things together. I don’t mind doing this; I love my siblings, and although gas is expensive and I’m not really making much money, I do what I can because I know there is no one else to help.
We had a really peaceful week. We all delegated tasks, knew what chores to do, and yes, they fought here and there, but it was actually really nice to have our mom and her fiancé gone. I picked them both up from the airport tonight, and I already knew it was going to be bad when we got home.
I will admit I didn’t do some of the things my mother wanted me to do before she left, like moving some of my new furniture downstairs into my room. Other than that, we kept the entire house clean, and we even cleaned and cooked before she came back to make sure it would be less stressful when she got home.
My mother and her fiancé ate dinner, but I could tell she was already in a bad mood, which is understandable after a long flight. But when she got out of the shower and saw my little sister looking for her AirPods instead of being asleep (it was only 10:30 p.m.), she just went off on both of us.
She started talking about how she does too much for us and how she should have just stayed in California, and she complained that we didn’t even clean the bathroom. My younger sister told her that yes, she should have just stayed over there since she clearly doesn’t want to be here.
I will admit I felt hurt. This isn’t the first time she’s done something like this after being away. I told her that the next time she leaves for vacation or wherever she goes, she should just stay until she’s happy or not come back at all, because she always does this and it drags everyone’s mood down.
I also told her that we did our best to keep the house clean and that I didn’t know what else she wanted from us, but it doesn’t matter because she’s like this every time she comes back. She didn’t say anything, and now I’m wondering if I was wrong for saying those things.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Spiritual-Bridge3027 says:
If your mom wants everything in her home to look like how she maintains it, she should stay home and not travel anywhere. Simple as that. NTA.
ConsciouslySceptical says:
NTA and kudos to you for calling it out! I totally understand how you're feeling because I'm sure you don't want to hurt her. But sometimes the truth hurts. You are not in the wrong one bit. She should be excited to see you all and grateful you took her of her kids while she was gone. You are an amazing sister and don't let her dim your light.
Dramatic_Web3223 says:
NTA, you just made her see what she really is feeling. Basically you called her out on it and she realizes you all probably don't need her there and are happy without her. She probably needed to hear it.
WhereWeretheAdults says:
NTA. How much did she pay you for babysitting her children for a week and a half?