"AITA for refusing to allow my step daughter to use one of my cars and telling her to get a job?"

Status-Silver1772 writes:

My husband and I have a five-year-old son together, and he has an 18-year-old daughter, Sally, from his previous marriage. Sally is an entitled, manipulative young woman who has spent her entire life playing the “child of divorce” card to make her parents feel guilty and give her everything she wants. As a result, she is now a lazy adult with poor grades, no direction, no job, and no interest in doing anything with her life.

Although both my husband and her biological mother are responsible for how she turned out, instead of working together to help her change, they prefer to blame each other. They constantly undermine each other's decisions.

For example, if my husband punishes Sally by not giving her spending money, her mother immediately gives her some. If her mother takes away her car as a consequence, my husband lets her use his. It's a very strange dynamic and completely different from the parenting approach he has with me.

When I asked him why he acts so differently when it comes to parenting my son with me versus Sally with her mother, he said it’s because I am his wife and a reasonable person he can actually communicate with. Honestly, I think they are both at fault, but Sally is not my daughter and I am just glad I do not have to deal with her often.

Now that summer break has started, Sally is facing what she considers a major crisis. Her car broke down and she needs one to get around, meet friends, and go to parties. Her mother will not let her borrow hers because she needs it for work. My husband also needs his car to get to work, and neither of them is willing to buy her a new one.

Sally decided to ask me if she could use one of my cars. For context, I have two: a large SUV that was provided by my employer and a smaller car that I use for errands because it is easier to park. I told her no. She pushed back and said I do not need both cars at once, but she needs one to get around. I told her she is welcome to use public transportation or get a job and buy her own car.

Now she is going around to my husband’s relatives and claiming that I am trying to exploit her by "sending her to work." I laughed about it with my husband’s sister, but my mother-in-law said I could have just said no without telling her to get a job. I honestly do not understand what is so offensive about telling an adult to get a job. It is not like I sent a 12-year-old to work to earn her meals.

OP got some responses to their post.

RevolutionaryDiet686 says:

NTA. Hide your keys!

reentername says:

NTA. Nicely done. I guess your husband and his ex-wife hate each other more than they love their daughter because they’re not doing her any favors by undermining one another.

Melodic-Skin9045 says:

NTA. You are spot on. Tell your husband that since Sally is 18, she can move out now. She either gets a job or goes to live with her mom. You need to focus on your kid.

OP responded:

Fortunately for me she lives with her mom and just visits us or spends a couple of days here.

What do you think?