NerveAdventurous5802 writes:
I'm feeling conflicted and need some outside perspective on whether I'm the a%&*ole in this situation. My wife (29F) and I (31M) have been married for 7 years. A few years ago, she decided to go back to college to get a degree, and I was fully supportive, both emotionally and financially. I’ve been paying her tuition fees out of my own pocket because I want her to succeed and follow her dreams.
Recently, I discovered that she has been having an affair with one of her professors. This was devastating for me to find out. Not only did it feel like a huge betrayal, but I was also furious because I’m essentially funding this affair by paying for her education.
After confronting her and getting a half-hearted apology, I decided to call the college registrar to inform them that I will no longer be paying her tuition fees. In the course of explaining why, I mentioned the affair and named the professor involved.
Before making the call, I did some digging and realized that the professor's wife works in the registrar's office—they have the same uncommon last name and I confirmed their relationship via Facebook. Knowing this, I still went ahead and made the call, understanding that this information would likely get back to her and cause a lot of drama in their personal lives.
My wife is furious with me, saying I’ve ruined her chances of finishing her degree and that I’m being vindictive. Some of my friends think I went too far and that I shouldn’t have involved the college or the professor’s wife. Others say that she brought this on herself, and I had every right to stop paying for her education given the circumstances.
So, AITAH for informing the college about my wife’s affair with her professor and stopping my financial support for her education, knowing the professor’s wife works there?
Here are the top comments:
firstWithMost says:
You're wife is furious? I'm surprised you are still calling her a wife, I would call her a bad memory. NTA (Not the A^#^ole).
thunderchicken_1 says:
NTA. What your wife is experiencing are called consequences. Most people hate them. Please tell us about the divorce lawyer you have hired to divorce your remorseless cheating wife.
offkilter123 says:
NTA. Consequences are a real thing as your wife and her professor are finding out. Are you divorcing your cheating wife?
14mm3pl4y1ng4m3z says:
She sounds entitled and self-absorbed. She is not really sorry (cheaters never are) either. NTA, ditch the witch.
MadMaz27 says:
NTA. She is the cheat, you are the victim. The same with the professor. She has no right to be angry at you, kick her to the curb.