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'AITA for flaunting that I have a higher salary over my wife in front of her family?'

'AITA for flaunting that I have a higher salary over my wife in front of her family?'


AITA for hanging my wealth over my wife?

Fabulous-Show-7265 writes:

I, 25M, am married to my wife, Sasha, 28F. She comes from a pretty wealthy background, while I decidedly do not. My dad left before I was born, and my mom died when I was 11. I've mostly 'gotten over it,' as much as one can 'get over' something like that. However, I'm still sensitive to any so-called 'jokes' about it.

I graduated summa cum laude and went straight into investment banking. I met my wife when I was 23 and fresh into it, but after three years, I earn pretty well. My wife is a lawyer.

Now, I love my wife, and she loves me (obviously), but her family hates me. Like, from the depths of their souls, hates me. I've been called a gold-digger, a low-life, and received a few more vague insults about my table manners.

I went to a 'party' with her the other day, one of those fancy-schmancy things where everyone drinks champagne and complains about this, that, and the other, talking about how they spent so much money on renovations, gasp. I got the usual mild comments from my wife's family and close friends on where my wife 'picked' me up from.

Lacy, I don't think, knew about my family history before. We were talking about dads (don't ask me why), and I got a question about what my dad did. I said I didn't know, never met the guy. Lacy made this kind of exaggerated gasp and went, "Ooh, well we all know why you're with her [my wife] then, don't we?"

I acted all confused, and she got flustered and just kept going with, "Well... you know." My wife tried to move the conversation along, but by this point, I wasn't letting it go. I kept pushing and pushing until Lacy finally said, "Well, you two don't exactly have the same... finances, do you?" I responded with, "You're right. I make quite a bit more."

Lacy, by this point, was too embarrassed to keep going. I'd kind of ruined the vibe, but the night continued; this isn't the kind of event you walk away from. We went home, which was when sh%t genuinely went down.

She told me it was crazy of me to keep pushing on that point and turn one comment into one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. Now, everyone in her circle must think she's some kind of failure for earning so much less than her husband, and I'd ruined everything. But it's not like I lied. I'm just tired of being treated like sh&t in her circle. My wife is upset, though, and I do care about her, so I need to know, AITA?

Here are the top comments:

SneakyRaid says:

But she was perfectly fine letting everyone in her life think you were a failure that lives off her. She is also apparently perfectly fine letting them mock or insult you, the man she allegedly loves. Why is her image more important than your dignity and the respect for your marriage?

A person can earn less than their wealthy partner and still be with them out of love, and she is allowing for that to be questioned. NTA (Not the A^#@ole), both her and her circle sound vain, materialistic and classist, and I'm afraid those traits are going to be hard to change.

Spare-Article-396 says:

NTA. First of all, your wife failed to stop this sh%t and just expected you to take it? She didn’t speak up and say ‘hey that’s out of line’…where you two could have just walked away. She wanted you to overlook being looked down upon, because she felt looked down upon.

She called that ‘the most embarrassing moments of her life’ bc she feels like a failure since you make more, which is wild considering what she expected you to endure.

PurplePinkBlue76 says:

Honestly you're not (NTA) but your wife is. If this is her "circle" she should have stopped that Lacy immediately. People think that you're a gold digger because your wife lets them think about it. She's more worried about what people would think about her earnings than people talking bad about you.

Sea-Tea-4130: says

NTA-Her friends didn’t mind embarrassing you and your wife didn’t shut it down the moment it started, so yea for standing up for yourself and putting ppl in their place.

What do you think?

Sources: Reddit
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