'AITA for wanting to break up with my fiancé so he could be happy with my sister?'
WIBTA if I broke up with my fiancé so he could be happier with my sister?
PlaneThrowRA writes:
I (25F) have been engaged to my fiancé (28M) for about a month now. He’s honestly amazing! He's kind, thoughtful, successful, and way out of my league. I love him so much, but lately, I’ve been thinking that maybe I’m not the right person for him, and maybe my sister, Tara (27F), would be better for him.
Tara is everything I’m not. She’s beautiful, smart, outgoing, and honestly, the type of woman that turns heads wherever she goes. She’s always been the favorite in our family—my parents adore her, and she’s always making them proud. Ever since my fiancé came into the picture, it’s like my family has started hinting that they think he’d be happier with her.
When I first introduced him to my family, they couldn’t stop talking about how perfect he is. At first, I thought it was just normal family excitement, but it’s gotten kind of weird. My mom constantly makes comments like, “Tara and your fiancé just have so much in common,” and my dad has said things like, “It’s a shame Tara didn’t meet someone like him sooner. They’d make a power couple.”
At family gatherings, Tara and my fiancé seem to get along really well, and everyone keeps pointing it out. My aunt actually said, “If your sister ever decides she’s ready for a serious relationship, she’d be lucky to find a guy like him,” while staring directly at them as they talked. I laughed it off because what else could I do? I know Tara is incredible, and honestly, I’m just not sure I’m the right person for him.
Tara’s also been spending a lot of time with him, and my family keeps encouraging it. She’ll ask him to help with things like fixing her computer or moving furniture, and when I offer to come, she says, “No, it’s fine, I just need him for a quick favor.”
They’ve been spending time at the gym and attending similar events due to having similar jobs. My mom always says how nice it is that they’re bonding, and my dad once joked, “Maybe you’re just holding him back, sweetheart. Tara’s more on his level.”
I know they mean well, but it’s really starting to mess with my head. My fiancé loves me, I know he does, but I can’t help but think that maybe he’d be happier with someone like Tara. They’re both so similar, and I feel like I’m just not good enough. I’m not as confident or outgoing as her, and I think my family sees that too.
At our last family dinner, Tara made a comment about how my fiancé is “the perfect guy” and how any woman would be lucky to have him. My dad actually laughed and said, “Well, there’s still time for that,” which made everyone awkwardly laugh, even my fiancé. I felt sick.
I’ve been thinking… maybe it would be better for everyone if I just stepped aside. I don’t want to hold him back from being with someone who’s actually his equal. My family already seems to think they’re better suited for each other, and honestly, I feel like I’m the odd one out in my own relationship.
I love him so much, but what if he's just settling for me? WIBTA for breaking up with him to make everybody else happy? I'm not asking about me and my feelings—I’m asking if it would be cruel to my fiancé.
Here are the top comments:
wakingdreamland says:
THEY DO NOT MEAN WELL. Damn, get yourself some therapy if you see what they’re doing as a caring thing! Stop putting up with these people. Talk to your fiancé about what you’re feeling.
rose189throwaway says:
You don’t get to decide who’s better for him. That’s his decision. And he chose you. Your family’s horrible for making you feel this way. I’m so sorry that they did. You are more than worthy of all the love that is currently yours. Please talk to your fiancé before making any rash decisions.
JohnJHawke says:
F%#k that! They don't mean well at all. What a bunch of snakes. Im so sorry you have to put up with bulls%#t like that! How does your fiancé react?
Zestyclose_Army7847 says:
YTA (You're the A%@^ole) - If you decide to do this without talking to your fiancé first. I would be willing to bet he doesn’t think your sister is the better catch. PS: Your family sounds terrible, you may want to consider low contact.