'AITA for asking my wife for separate bank accounts after she blew our savings?'
"AITA for telling my wife I want separate bank accounts after she spent all our savings on a vacation?"
ButterflyDazzling114 writes:
My wife, Emma (32F), recently surprised me (34M) with a dream vacation. At first, I was excited, but that excitement quickly faded when I realized she had used all of our joint savings to pay for it without consulting me. This isn’t the first time she’s made big financial decisions without involving me, but this one left us with almost nothing in the bank.
After some thought, I told her that I think we should have separate bank accounts moving forward. I don’t want to feel like our financial future is being gambled on whims, and I believe this would give us both some autonomy. Emma was furious and accused me of overreacting, saying that the vacation was a gift and that I should be grateful.
Now, things are tense between us. She’s acting like I don’t trust her, but in my view, it’s about ensuring we both have control over our money. I don’t want this to ruin our relationship, but I also don’t want to go through this financial stress again. AITA?
Here are the top comments:
Stranger-Tastes says:
Maybe she feels like you don't trust her because she demonstrated that she can't be trusted.
Sebscreen says:
NTA. It isn't a gift when she spent your money on it. Don't even be gaslighted into feeling ashamed about not trusting her or having to defend and explain why that isn't the case. You SHOULDN'T trust her. She has proven multiple times to be untrustworthy.
CaliforniaJade says:
Absolutely separate your finances. How in the world is the vacation a gift? It's true, you don't trust her because she has shown herself to be untrustworthy. Unilaterally deciding to take a joint savings and wipe it out for a vacation is a form of financial abuse. NTA Keep your passwords hidden.
fuzzy_mic says:
Yes, your marriage has a big problem in that she spent joint money without consulting you. At the same time, separate bank accounts doesn't address the communication problem, all it does is prepare for the property settlement of the eventual divorce that separate accounts doesn't avert.
What do you think?