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'AITA for wanting to divorce my wife even though our youngest child is 11 years old?'

'AITA for wanting to divorce my wife even though our youngest child is 11 years old?'


"AITA for wanting to divorce my wife?"

That_Minute2273 says:

My wife and I have been married for 18 years. We are both 36 years old. Although we’ve had our ups and downs with separation and near divorce, we’ve managed to stay together. We had kids (20M, 17F, 11F) very young, which is why we got married so young. Marriage never crossed my mind growing up, but after our unplanned pregnancy, it was the right thing to do.

About a year into our marriage, I was working out of state. She had an affair and got pregnant. I thought I could forgive and forget, so I stayed, but life is never that easy. That was 17 years ago, and I raised my daughter as my own. But, I was never able to forgive her. It’s always been in the back of my mind, eating away.

We have tried marriage counseling twice before, which didn’t really do much besides bringing the past to the surface without finding a solution. This is what caused our near divorce before. But when I left, the feeling of being alone without my kids made me come back and try to make it work again.

Although my wife and I don’t argue or fight, have date nights regularly, and have a healthy intimate life, I hate being married. I would have never thought in a million years that I would have been married this long. I do not see a long-lasting marriage as an accomplishment, no offense to lifelong partners.

I honestly just do not love her. She is not the type of woman that I wanted to spend my life with. But I never wanted our kids to grow up without both parents together, which is why I’ve stayed this long. I believe that having both parents present significantly affects your children’s development in a positive way.

Even though I’ve been wanting a divorce and have been planning on it once my 11-year-old turns 18, within the past year, the feeling has intensified. I just can’t see myself leaving again because the feeling of sleeping in another home away from my kids kills me. Sorry for the long post, I just had to tell someone.

Here are the top comments:

SpecialistAlgae9971 says:

Shared custody kinda sucks but I can say it doesn't suck forever. When you don't have them, allow yourself to have a life. This is time you have to work on yourself, explore hobbies, and eventually start dating. I miss my boy when he's with his mother but it seems like we have more quality time when he is with me. Also even when he's with his mom we'll still play Helldivers or something most evenings.

MeLoveCoffee99 says:

NTA. Divorce if you are truly unhappy and don’t think it can be fixed. Make a promise to yourself that you will make your kids, your #1 priority. There is a happier life out there, but also be prepared for an adjustment period. Change is usually hard. Good luck​​!

Forsaken-Locksmith68 says:

Resentment unfortunately does build over time and can kill a marriage. 7 yrs maybe too long. Agree to never tell your kids the truth and it might be best to seek a divorce. Instead of wasting 7 years on both ends. Though through DNA testing the daughter will likely find out one day but by then it’s her mother’s duty to talk. Make sure that is clear too before you seek divorce.

Survive1014 says:

You honestly should have left her when she cheated and had a affair baby. Been through this myself. Your world will get so much less stressful and better times ahead once you get this person out of your life. NTA.

What do you think?

Sources: Reddit
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