'AITA for threatening to divorce my husband if we don't move out from his parents' home?'
"AITA for threatening to break up with my husband if we don't move out of his parent's house?"
Upstairs-Level4964 writes:
I (34F) have been married to my husband (36M) for five years. Last year, we ran into some financial problems and had to move in with his parents. It was supposed to be temporary, and at first, I was honestly grateful. But now it's been almost a year, and I feel like I’m suffocating.
His parents are incredibly stressful to live with. They constantly criticize me—how I dress, how I take care of our son (8M, autistic), how I cook, pretty much everything. It’s like, no matter what I do, it’s never good enough for them. On top of that, they treat me like I'm some kind of live-in servant. I can’t sit down for five minutes without them asking me to get them something.
They don’t even ask, really—they just expect it. They want coffee? Guess who’s getting it. They need something from the store? I’m the one running the errand. I’m tired and feel like I'm walking on eggshells constantly.
I’ve tried talking to my husband about it, but he always brushes it off, saying they’re "old school" and we should be grateful they let us stay here when we needed it. I understand that. I’m thankful for their help, but we’re doing fine now.
Financially, we could afford to get our own place. When I mention moving out, though, he just says we should wait a little longer—but for how long? I feel like I’m reaching my breaking point.
The other day, his mom basically told me I don’t do enough around the house (which is laughable because I do more than she does), and his dad made some rude comment about how I "lucked out" by marrying their son.
I was so angry, but I kept quiet in the moment. Later that night, I told my husband that I can’t take it anymore. I said if we don't move out by the end of the month, I'm done. I’m packing up and leaving, with or without him.
He was shocked and said I was being dramatic. He accused me of not appreciating how much his parents have helped us. Now he's upset and thinks I'm being unreasonable for giving him an ultimatum. I love him, and I don't want to end our marriage, but I just can't live like this anymore. It's draining me. So... AITA for threatening to leave if we don’t move out?
Here are the top rated comments from readers of OP's post.
Hot_Mommas says:
NTA. You're not asking for anything out of the ordinary. You simply want to live in your own space with your husband and child, which is a completely normal and healthy desire.
ArreniaQ says:
Make your plans; go find a place to move, start packing your things. You need to take care of your mental health so you can take care of your child. If husband comes, great, if not, well, call an attorney. Make sure you mean what you say. NTA.
ThrowRA78295711 says:
You're not the a%#^ole. This sounds like an incredibly unhealthy environment to be living in. Your home should be your place of refuge, and the LAST place you should feel like you're walking on eggshells. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, I wish you all of the best as you figure out your next steps.
qqwertz12345 says:
It’s not dramatic to want your own space it’s completely reasonable.