'AIO I was the butt of the joke during the best man speech at my youngest brothers wedding'
"AIO I was the butt of the joke during the best man speech at my youngest brothers wedding"
dethangel2010
My youngest brother, let’s call him Phil, got married today and the ceremony was absolutely beautiful. His bride was stunning and everything was great and well done. His best man was our other brother who I’ll call Jack. My wife and I weren’t part of the wedding party, which is fair because we didn’t ask them to be in ours 5 years ago.
After the ceremony we did the pictures and a cocktail hour. It was nice to talk to some out of town family and old family friends, and Jack and I were talking about the day they all had (very eventful for my now sister in law but that’s another story) and then everyone was called inside for the reception.
We go in, and have dinner. My wife and I were starting to get kinda tired but I told her I really want to hear Jack’s best man speech so we agreed to wait. I wish we hadn’t…
Jack goes up, introduces himself and starts his speech. “Well about 34 years ago, mom and dad got married and decided to try for kids and they started with the prototype, my older brother.” I should have known where this is going.
He continued “They realized that hey they can do better so they got it right the second time, me. Mr perfect. And I was. Our grandfather would call me crusher because I would beat up on my older brother as a toddler.
We were always opposites and didn’t really get along a whole lot. So mom and dad decided they needed someone to help him out and so they had this guy. Now when he came around I was like, yeah he seems alright. So growing up we terrorized my older brother. Good times.”
He continued his speech but I was kinda checked out at that point. I was, and still am really upset about it because I have always been the butt of all the jokes in my family. My brothers, my cousins, even my parents. I’m the different one.
I’m very emotional and empathetic, which is a blessing and curse. I’m overweight, they’re both athletes (Phil actually works for an NHL team). I enjoy dnd, reading and being a nerd. They like sports and outdoors activities. You get the idea.
I get up and my wife goes to the bathroom before we decide to leave. Jack finds me and is like “you good? I meant to say at the beginning of my speech that I apologize because my older brother is probably going to get upset”.
I just look at him and say “you’re good… but I would have appreciated a heads up that that’s what you were gonna do”. He looks at me and just goes. “If I did that, I wouldn’t have gotten the genuine reaction”. I just walked away, met my wife, and we left.
I asked her, am I crazy? Was his best man speech really just a ton of shots at me? She said “it seems like he was trying to be funny but not everything landed. And yes, you were the butt of his jokes”. I drove home pretty much in silence. I’m tired of always being the butt of all the family jokes.
We’re supposed to have lunch with extended family tomorrow and the only reason I’m going is because I only see these family members maybe once a year. I don’t want to see Jack, or really anyone else from my immediate family. Do I have a right to be upset, or am I being overly sensitive?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
iambrooketho
Weird to focus a wedding speech on someone who isn't getting married. Very weird. He's got deeper problems and obviously isn't going to work on those.
murphy2345678
If it gets brought up tomorrow OP should say something like “yeah it was kind of weird you focused so much on me during Phil’s wedding. You still trying to one up me? I thought you had grown past that.”
Neenknits
“I thought you had grown past that” should be the theme. If anyone else mentioned the speech, “Yes. I’m worried about Jack. I thought he had grown past his childhood penchant for bullying. I don’t know what is wrong.
Maybe you can encourage him to get some therapy?” And don’t be discreet. Keep your worried look front and center. You will sound like the bigger, far more reasonable person. And there is absolutely no rational argument they can make against “I’m worried about Jack given the way he is acting.”
twopumpstump
It’s extremely weird to use a Best Man speech to get hyper-focused on a brother that wasn’t included in the wedding…
Beneficial_Syrup_869
They’ve treated you bad your whole life that you’re here asking if you’re overreacting over a hateful speech, no you’re not. It was a wedding toast for your brother, it had nothing to do with you but somehow you were brought in. For no reason other than to shit on you in a public setting. I would go low contact with Jack and anybody else who tells you you’re overreacting.
JJennnnnnifer
You must take up an extreme amount of real estate in his head for him to turn that speech into a story about you. As much as his words hurt, i hope you understand he’s a dark and miserable soul. It’s really kinda sad when you think about it. Live your best life, away from his harm, and try not to give him any more energy.
BagelwithQueefcheese
Your family can’t appreciate you just as you are. They suck. They suck so much. I am sorry this happened to you for your entire life. Going low contact with them is probably best.