'AITA for telling my half sister that I will never love her after her choice for bridesmaid?'
"AITA for telling my half sister that I will never love her, after she told me her daughter could be my bridesmaid?"
Inner-Pick-4625 writes:
I (28f) got married in July. About a week before the wedding, my half-sister Ashley (41f) came to my parents’ house to tell us that my niece (her daughter, 20f) would not be my bridesmaid. She made an excuse, saying my niece had an ankle injury from slipping at school, but the way she explained it felt fishy. Ashley kept bringing up how hurt she was that she hadn’t been considered for a role in the wedding party or as a godmother.
I got married through the Catholic Church, and I explained to her that in order to be my godmother she needed to be happily married, which she is not, since she divorced last year.
Ashley kept saying that, as my sister, she should have had a more prominent role and that her daughter being a bridesmaid wasn’t enough. She compared herself to my other sister Lucy (24f), who was my maid of honor. Ashley insisted she was just as important as Lucy, or even more, since she was older.
For context, Ashley and I did not grow up together. She’s the daughter of my dad and his first wife. They divorced when she was 12, and he later married my mom. When I was a child, she lived with her mom and only visited a couple times a year.
We never really formed a relationship beyond knowing she was my dad’s kid. I wasn’t even invited to her wedding because I was a child at the time and her wedding was child-free. On the other hand, I grew up with Lucy. We shared everything and were always part of each other’s lives.
I got frustrated and asked Ashley how she could say she was more important than my sister when she barely qualified as family to me. She said we were blood and that we should love each other and be there for the important stuff.
That’s when I told her I didn’t love her because I didn’t know her, and she couldn’t love me either because she didn’t know me. She was visibly upset but didn’t argue. She just said goodbye to my dad and left.
A couple of days later, my cousin (another bridesmaid) ran into my niece at school, and she was playing volleyball, so much for the ankle injury. Ashley showed up to the ceremony alone, took one quick photo, and left without attending the reception. Now, a month later, when I look at the only photo of Ashley from my wedding, I wonder if I was too harsh or if I should apologize. Any thoughts?
Here are some of the top comments.
DesperatePop7954 says:
ESH. Ashley was being entitled about having a bigger role in the wedding. However, after you lost it and told her that she barely qualified as a family member, did you really expect to remain on good terms with her? I’m surprised she even went to the ceremony. I think you’re a bit of an AH for being surprised that she doesn’t want much to do with you anymore.
That being said, why bother apologizing? You don’t sound all that sorry. You clearly don’t care about her or like her, and maybe the best thing to do is to let go of a relationship that’s doomed to be one sided.
Hobbington9496 says:
I like how you Flame her for being divorced but your dad divorced her mom. How very catholic of you.
wasmachmada says:
Damn, your father really sucked as a dad to his first child. Must have been hard for her seeing him do right by his do over family. ESH.
OrchidOne8324 says:
Not that it necessarily changes anything, but that part where you said she couldn't be a godmother because she's divorced that's not true. And while I think her entitlement was a bit much. I also think you were unnecessarily cruel.