"AITA for refusing to pay for my sister's wedding after she didn't show up to mine?"
AITA for refusing to loan my sister money for her wedding after she refused to come to mine?
HawkTuahTheImpaler writes:
My (30M) younger sister (27F) and I have always had a complicated relationship. We love each other, but there's always been some rivalry and tension. About a year ago, I got married.
I invited her to my wedding, but she declined, saying she had a work event she couldn’t miss. I was hurt, but I tried to understand. It was a big deal to me, and I really wanted her there, but I didn’t push it.
Fast forward to now, she’s getting married in a few months. Recently, she reached out to me asking for a significant loan to help cover some unexpected wedding expenses. She said they were short on funds and needed the money urgently. I’m in a stable financial position, and I could afford to lend her the money, but I’m feeling conflicted.
I told her that I was hesitant to loan her the money, given that she didn’t prioritize my wedding enough to attend. She got really upset and said that I was being petty and holding a grudge. She argued that her situation was different and that family should help each other out when in need.
I want to support my sister, but I can’t shake the feeling that she didn’t support me when I needed her. My wife thinks I’m in the right and that my sister needs to understand the consequences of her actions, but some of my friends think I should just let it go and help her out.
AITA for refusing to loan my sister money for her wedding after she refused to come to mine? Or am I being too harsh and holding onto a grudge?
Here are the top comments:
popcorn717 says:
You will never see it again...I wouldn't.
kmflushing says:
NTA. Why should you put family first for her when she didn't for you? She literally put work first. The opposite of what she's telling you to do. Why shouldn't you hold a grudge and hurt feelings over that? Plus, you'll never see that money again. No. Don't reward cr^@$y behavior, hypocrisy, and entitled AHs.
gastropodia42 says:
She will give repaying your load less of a priority than attending your wedding. NTA.
RoxyMcfly says:
NTA. Isn't it rich when someone prioritizes themselves over being their for a close family member, but then uses the whole "family needs to help eachother out when in need" when they want your support?
The thing is that you didn't need her money. You needed your sister to be there to support you and see you get married, and she used work as an excuse. I'm sorry I have 2 brothers I'm super close to and unless my not being at work would result in a death or bomb going off, there's no where else I'd be than at my brothers wedding.
Let's be real, she didn't want to be there. You got married before her. More rivalry. She is likely now planning a wedding that she hopes will be better than yours, and wants you to pay for it. There are no unexpected wedding expenses that require a significant loan within a few months of the wedding, my guess is that she put deposits down on expensive places and she has to pay up.
When I got married, my parents paid for some and we had to pay the rest and of course there were things i wanted to have but I couldn't afford. So I didnt have them. She could take out a loan herself, but it's likely she has no intention of paying it back.
What do you think?