'My sister bullied me for being the product of cheating, so now I'm letting her be homeless. AITA?'

My sister who bullied me for 'runing' our parents marriage asked me for money and I said no.

Wild_Flight_9858 writes:

I, 26F, grew up with 2 other siblings: 29M and 34F. My sister is 9 years older than me, so we never really got to bond. She was also always really mean to me and would hit me and push me around. I still have a scar on my face from her pushing me off of a rock wall in a park when I was 11.

I later found out that I am not my father's kid, and he didn’t find out until I was 3, and that’s when my dad divorced my mom, and my sister ultimately blames me for, in her words, “my parents splitting up.” I haven’t spoken to my sister since I was… 13? She would call me “ba%@^rd baby” and “the home wrecker.”

When I was 17, I couldn’t go to college because my mom wasn’t well off. My brother said he would help, and he asked my sister if she would chip in, but she wouldn’t. So, ultimately, I decided I wouldn’t go. I got a job and worked.

When I was 19, I was invited to a party, and that’s where I met my boyfriend. We got married when I was 22 (I know that’s young, no need to tell me), and he put me through college. I am now a nurse with my bachelor's, and I’m going back for my master's soon.

My husband is well off... My brother lost his job during Covid and hasn’t been able to find good work since, and he almost lost his house, and my husband said he would help him. This brings me to two weeks ago: I got a call from an unknown number, and it’s my sister, and she’s happy to hear from me and find me, and she’s acting like we had a good relationship.

Then it comes out, her husband made some bad business deals, and they’re going under. She’s been staying with “our dad” (Mind you, she’s always called me a ba%^@rd and I “took her dad from her,” so it’s funny that he’s now “our dad”), and she just needs some help to get on her feet.

I told her “when the scar under my eye goes away, I’ll give you all the money you want,” and she tries to apologize, and I hung up. I really don’t know the woman she is now. It may be petty, but she made my life a living hell, and I had no clue why until I was almost an adult. She took her anger out on me.

I understand why she was upset, but did she have to be so cruel? I would have preferred if she only ignored me. My brother calls me and tells me I have a niece and nephew, and he understands if I don’t want to help her, but I should think about them, and if I don’t want to help out, that’s still okay.

But like… I don’t know them either? All of these people are essentially strangers to me; I didn’t even know I had a niece and nephew from her. I only know about my nephew from my brother.

I’m just really conflicted… would I be wrong not helping? If I did, it would be out of my money. My husband and brother are best friends, pretty much, which is why he had no problem helping him, but he says he doesn’t know my sister or care for her, knowing what she put me through, and since it’s coming out of my money… I really don’t want to.

OP responded to some comments:

Caspian4136 says:

NTA (Not the A%^*ole). Your sister abused you for years just because you were born due to your mother's infidelity. That isn't your fault by any stretch of the imagination.

She did absolutely nothing to try to mend the relationship as an adult...until she found out you're financially comfortable that is. Now she comes calling like she didn't literally put a scar on your face when you were a child and she was literally an adult at the time (20 if my math is right).

OP responded:

Yes she would have been 20 or 21. That event was so traumatic for me, I could have lost my eye. I was so insecure about that scar for years and would cover it up with makeup. I don’t even know why she pushed me. I was Just going up so our mom could take a picture and she didn’t want me next to her? I don’t even like to think about it.

mofodatknowbro says:

NTA. I wouldn't call this petty, either. To hell with this lady. Hopefully she learns a life lesson from all this to not treat those around her like garbage.

FAFO-13 says:

NTA. F%#k your sister she’s garbage.

mynamecouldbesam says:

NTA. So she physically abused you when she was 20. That's not a kid. I'd agree with you. She gets nothing.

What do you think? Should OP give her sister money?