'AITA for refusing to give my mom access to my savings account for family emergencies?'
"AITA for refusing to give my mother access to my savings account even though she says it's for 'family emergencies'?"
ComprehensiveWin82 writes:
I (24F) have been working since I was 18 and have been diligently saving money. Over the years, I’ve built up a decent emergency fund and started putting money aside for a house. My parents have always known I’m good with money, but recently, my mom (48F) has been pressuring me to give her access to my savings account.
She says it’s because the family has had a lot of unexpected expenses lately, like car repairs and medical bills for my younger brother (15M). While I understand money is tight, I’ve always helped when I could. I’ve paid for groceries, contributed to household bills, and even helped cover my brother’s school supplies.
But my mom insists it’s not enough. She wants direct access to my savings account "just in case something big happens." I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that since I’ve worked hard for this money, and it’s meant for my future. I also mentioned that I’d be happy to help if a real emergency comes up, but I’d prefer to manage it on my terms.
She got really upset, saying I don’t trust her and that I’m being selfish. My dad has stayed out of it, but my older sister (26F) thinks I’m overreacting and should just let mom have access. She even said, “What’s the point of saving if you’re not going to help your family?”
Now, I’m feeling torn. On one hand, I want to help my family, but on the other, I don’t think it’s fair for me to hand over control of my hard-earned money. AITA for refusing to give my mother access to my savings account?
Here are the top rated comments from readers.
792bookcellar says:
I would highly recommend you do NOT share your account information, not even your balance. You are saving so you can move out. You should only be paying the bills you are required to pay for living in the house. You should also get a credit check to make sure you don’t have any other open accounts you are not aware of.
Short_Bus8309 says:
NTA. Don't do it, they will drain that account, it is not normal to request access to someone's bank account.
busyshrew says:
NTA. As the mom of a young adult woman, I can firmly tell you, your mother's demand is wrong, and it is NOT usual nor normal. Your sister is throwing you under the rug because either she doesn't have money and wants yours as well, or she would rather see your mom steal your money, rather than hers.
Ignore them both. If your mom keeps pestering you, I would suggest to go no or low contact for a while. And, most important, lock up your credit and identity information to prevent id theft from your mom. She's signaling pretty strong intent to get your money somehow.
catscatsonlycats says:
It is YOUR money, not hers. Only you can say who gets access. She is being the horrible one, guilt tripping you into feelings bad.