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'AITA for not supporting my sister financially after my parents told her to get a job?'

'AITA for not supporting my sister financially after my parents told her to get a job?'


AITA for refusing to financially support my sister?

Real-Lab-3630 writes:

I (25M) need some perspective on whether I'm being unreasonable in my current situation with my sister (22F). A bit of background: I graduated from college three years ago and have been working a stable job since then.

My parents helped me through college, but I also took out loans and worked part-time to cover expenses. My sister started college two years ago, and my parents committed to supporting her financially as they did with me.

Last year, my sister decided to drop out of college. She said she felt that the traditional education system wasn't for her and wanted to explore other interests. My parents were disappointed but respected her decision. However, they told her she would need to find a job and support herself, as they had already stretched their finances thin helping both of us through college.

Fast forward to now: my sister has struggled to find stable employment and is living with our parents rent-free. She's been bouncing between part-time jobs and side gigs, but nothing has stuck. She recently approached me, asking if I could help her out financially until she gets back on her feet.

Here's where I might be the AH: I told her no. It's not that I don't want to help her, but I feel like she made a choice to drop out and should have considered the financial implications. I worked hard to get through college and am still paying off my loans.

I also have my own expenses and future plans, like saving for a house and building an emergency fund. I explained this to her, but she got really upset and accused me of being selfish and unsupportive. My parents haven't explicitly asked me to help, but I know they feel caught in the middle.

My sister and I used to be really close, but this has put a strain on our relationship. Part of me feels guilty for not stepping in, but another part of me believes she needs to take responsibility for her own choices. Am I the a^&$ole for refusing to financially support my sister after she dropped out of college?

Here are the top comments:

Accomplished_Pea6334 says:

NTA (Not the A^#&ole). Good thing you said no. The second you would have said yes she becomes your problem. Your sister needs to grow up.

Chefnick500 says:

“Gets back on her feet” .. she’s never been on them in the first place … she’s a serial grifter ..NTA for refusing financial assistance.

MmeGenevieve says:

NTA. She has a roof over her head and meals thanks to the parents. She can live without extras until she can afford to pay for them herself. It might mean that she'll have to use public transportation, not shop for clothes, use an old phone, etc., until she starts working full-time. Asking for a small loan to get by until payday is one thing, but expecting a sibling to support you is out of line.

yesimreadytorumble says:

She’s a 22 year old woman who had her parents full financial support as long as she was studying and chose to give that up, She’s grown enough to support herself. NTA.

Sources: Reddit
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