'AITA if I don’t change the name of my unborn baby after my sister gave her baby the same name?'

"AITA if I don’t change the name of my unborn baby after my sister gave her baby the same name?"

I found out I was pregnant and due in July 2025. My sister gave birth to her baby in Feb 2025. When I announced my pregnancy to her back in a December 2024, I also announced the gender and the name. I found out then she had chosen the same name for her baby boy.

She has had 3 other children for which she never announced the name. Since then, she has been pressuring me to change the name because it causes her panic attack and anxiety. She says two cousins born 5 months apart with the same name is going to create an unnecessary rivalry.

My husband and I had chosen this name prior to conception and announced it to everyone (family & friends) without knowing her intentions. I am now 8 months pregnant and I have been calling my baby by this name since the beginning. I don't want to change the name.

Neither my husband. For context, her baby was born with some kidney issues and had to have surgery at 10 weeks old so she has been especially sensitive. Personally, I feel for her, but I don't see this name thing as a major issue and I don't want to change the name of my baby because she has anxiety over this. Am I the ahole?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

Romance-BookWorm-55 said:

NTA. How does it give her anxiety? She doesn’t corner the market on that name. As a matter of fact, if you told her long before SHE was pregnant, then she “stole” the name from you. And how does she think having the same name will cause a rivalry? That’s just really odd. She needs to get over herself. Congratulations.

azaharinflames said:

NTA. As far as I understand, you announced it first. So (imo) it doesn’t matter if her baby was born first, you announced the name before she did. You’ve been calling your baby this name since the beginning and feel like it’s theirs. In my family, my brother and my cousin share one name (granted, for my brother is his middle name and for my cousin his first), and we’ve never had an issue because of that.

My brother usually goes by both names or just by his middle. My cousin either by both, or by his middle as well. Idk. I think you have to prioritize your family. Your sister chose to name her baby the same name as yours, not the opposite. So why should you change it?

gooossfraabaahh said:

Nta. There's like 8 men named Thomas through my family (probably more). It really doesn't matter, we just call them a variation. Tom, Uncle Tommy, Tommie, Cousin Thomas, lol. It's really fine.

Just double check that you like the middle name too because you may have to call him by both when you're around the rest of the family. Pretty effed up of your sister to name her baby that when you've been so public about the name.

faulty_rainbow said:

NAH your sister didn't know that was the name you chose when she selected that name. (Taking this info from your comment). She has a right to feel the way she does and you also have a right to love the name you chose and stick to it. Neither of you own a name.

Now what you both need to think about is the future of the kids. How often they will meet (I guess very, because they'll be around the same age), if this will be uncomfortable etc.

The main thing to consider is if either of you want to die on this hill. You both could choose another name or you both could choose the same, either way keep the kids' well-being in focus. If you two will build resentment over this and it ruins your relationship, think about whether it's worth it or not.

Try to talk this through with her calmly if you can, don't be accusatory or attacking, just ask her what in her opinion you both should do and if she thinks it would be acceptable for both kids to have that same name and differentiate with nicknames or a second name.

KS1KAS said:

NTA no one can claim a name she knew you were going to use this name and still chose it herself anyway after you told her...if she was so bothered about the children having the same name she should have chosen a name instead of taking the one she knew you had chosen months before she was due...

this is why most people keep the name choice until after the birth but NTA...if she had decided that name well in advance and never mentioned it to you when announcing the choice of your child that's on her.

remote_goblin said:

NTA. I have two sets of cousins with the same names. In some countries it's extremely common, as people name their children after their parents (this was the case in my family). From your post I understand it's not common where you are, but it's not the end of the world.