"AITA if I hide my girlfriend's contact lenses again?"
I (24M) live with my girlfriend Lena (23F). She’s doing her master’s right now, which means she has classes most mornings/early afternoons (usually 8–1 or 2), and then she works from home most evenings (like 5–9). I also work from home full-time, so I see her routine every day.
The thing is, her eyes are constantly suffering. She wears contacts to class, and by the time she comes home, they’ve made her eyes super red and irritated. Then when she switches to her glasses, they calm down, but the second she has a video call in the evening, she takes the glasses off because she feels self-conscious in them.
Within half an hour, her eyes are itchy and irritated again and sometimes she ends up with migraines from looking at a screen w/o glasses. She also gets allergies a lot, so she wakes up with watery eyes.
She insists on it because she doesn’t like how she looks in glasses. She refuses to leave the house with her glasses on. For the record, she’s gorgeous, glasses or not. She’s the prettiest girl. I don’t think she realizes how bad it is, like she thinks itchy eyes are normal.
I'm honestly worried she'll scratch a cornea. She has eye drops that help, but normally I have to really bully her into using them bc they leave a bad taste in her mouth.
On Friday, her eyes were already itchy, but she didn’t have any evening calls, so they settled down. That night we had dinner plans, and while she was rushing to get ready, her eyes were itchy from the eye liner she uses and I knew the second she put her contacts in, it would get worse. So I hid them.
She grabbed her glasses before we left, but didn't put them on while we were out, apart from to read the menu. I know it was sneaky, but I swear it was in her best interest.
Her eyes need a break, and I feel like if I don’t intervene, she’ll just keep hurting herself. WIBTA if I did this again? Like not every week, but like on the occasion, when her eyes are really bad? I'm not really sure what else I can do to help her.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
riontach said
YTA. This is controlling and massively overstepping. How to correct her vision is HER medical decision to make. Not yours.
fanofnone2019 said:
YTA. She's an adult. You're being controlling and claiming it's in her best interest. You can express concern but to hiding them is absolutely not okay.
NarwhalsAreCool20 said:
Encourage her to call her optometrist & let them know what is going on, as she obviously reacting to the contacts.
imightbeapug said:
Yes, YTA. She’s an adult and if her eyes are at the risk of getting irritated or infected your role as a partner AT the MOST is to offer solutions such as changing the brand/visiting the optician/going to a specialist to check what’s happening. If she insists on being adamant despite this, there is nothing more you can do. Hiding this is weird, childish and definitely will backfire on you.
nasnedigonyat said:
YTA. Your supposedly benevolent motives don't justify this controlling and manipulating behavior. You know better than her? You can live her life better than she can? You'll make decisions for her if she won't go along with your choices for her? You'll hide her belongings to get your way and prove you're right? Yikes. Yikes. Yikes.
EquivalentTwo1 said:
YWBTA. Encourage her to go to the eye doctor. buy the single use no preservatives artificial tears for her. see if her saline solution is expired. if she uses disposable contacts, check they haven’t been open too long.
I had to stop wearing contacts as my eyes couldn’t tolerate gas permeable ones anymore in addition to some other issues. contacts should not be itchy. she could need new contacts, different saline, or it could be her seasonal allergies acting up. none of that gives you permission to hide her visual aides. doesn’t matter if she also has glasses.