"AITA if I stop buying Christmas presents?"
I’m the youngest of five and have no kids of my own, but my four brothers and sisters all have many kids (4, 2, 2, 4), and those 12 nieces and nephews all have 8 kids of their own. We used to always buy presents for each other’s kids, so I naturally started getting gifts for their kids.
A few years ago, I realized that practically no gifts were opened at all…but I didn’t think much of it. The next year it happened again and I found out that my siblings got together and agreed that they would stop buying gifts for each other’s kids because our family was growing. They didn’t tell me and the only thing said was, “You just now realized it?”
I was a little upset they didn’t include me. But I get it, I don’t have any kids of my own, but I’ve always bought gifts and they know it. The past couple years has actually lead to a few incidents of the kids crying because if I messed up in what they opened, then that was basically it for their Christmas at the family get together.
They will still get gifts at their parents or grandparents home, but at our family Christmas? That’s all. It feels like I’m carrying the family Christmas now. The kids are not to blame for their parents spending habits, I love them and always been happy making them happy, but now it feels like an obligation and it’s expected of me.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
International-Fee255 said:
NTA. Quick message into the family group chat: hi everyone, following your decision not to purchase gifts for everyone I will be following suit, please let children know there won't be any gifts coming this year, looking forward to celebrating family with you all.
Julie-AnneB said:
NTA - If they're getting gifts at other houses, you don't need to "carry Christmas." That said, if the family is that large, why not do a gift exchange where everyone draws a name? That way, each person buys and receives ONE gift.
In my family, we made it into a huge game where gifts could be stolen after they were opened. It was always the highlight of the night. For the smaller kids, we played the saran wrap ball game and numerous others.
There could be craft projects for the kids, family trivia for adults, the possibilities are endless. Everyone looked forward to this and it was more about family fun than about specific gifts from specific people.
Jerseygirl2468 said:
NTA they absolutely should’ve told you when they decided to no longer exchange gifts. And when there’s that many people involved, it should be group gifts or draw names.
teresajs said:
NTA. If no one else is exchanging/giving gifts, then you should not be doing so either.
Fab_Lurker84 said:
NTA. It’s not your duty to be Santa at the family Christmas. Also, my littlest sister of four is childless and we would NEVER not clue her in on the gift giving. That’s rude.
ReindeerUpper4230 said:
NTA if you stop. At all. You are not responsible for other people’s kids and it’s terrible that you’ve been put in this position.