'AITA if I kick a toddler out of my wedding?' 'Don't tell the bride or groom.'

"AITA if I kick a toddler out of my wedding?"

My fiancé (m28) and I (f27) are getting married in a few weeks. We are having a strictly no children wedding which has been communicated to all of guests. Most of the guests with kids agree that this is the right thing to do as there is nothing at a wedding for children.

One couple though keeps pushing our boundary’s and keeps saying they can’t leave their child. We have heard through other members of family that they have plans to bring the child to the wedding and have said "don’t tell the bride or groom."

While I’m sympathetic that they don’t want to leave their child, it doesn’t align with the day we want so have suggested they just skip this one if they can’t leave him. They are repeatedly not listening to our wishes, they have asked for a room in the venue to be able to take the child to keep him out our way.

They have suggested they walk around perimeter of the venue with the child. They literally will not take no for an answer. The most recent update we have is that they have said they will attend and leave the child at home.

However we have again heard through other member of family that they are planning on bringing the child and have said “no one will kick a toddler out of the wedding venue on the day."

I really don't appreciate being backed into a corner and I am fully prepared to kick this child out. Some people have said that I should just ignore them if they show up with the child so I just want to know. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

NoodleHound94 said:

"We have asked you now numerous times to please not bring your child. We have heard through the grapevine that you plan to ignore our wishes and bring them anyway. If you turn up to our wedding with your kid, you will all be asked to leave.

This day is not about you, and if you can't respect our wishes, then we don't want you to be a part of it." If they turn up with the child. Kick them out. Life's too short for disrespectful people.

Some-Flounder2175 said:

Contact the couple a week or so before the wedding to confirm if they are coming or if they couldn't find someone to leave their child with. I would tell them that there is a rumor going around that they are planning on bringing their child, but you know they wouldn't disrespect you like that.

Then, designate someone to turn them away if they show with the child. Your wedding, your day, your rules.

Individual_Metal_983 said:

I would contact the parents. "We have heard you are planning on turning up at the wedding with little Jimmy. Whilst we entirely understand if you are unable to attend due to childcare issues we will ask you to leave if you come with Jimmy. I would prefer to save you the embarrassment by addressing this now.

Then designate someone to be on "guard " duty. Saying they are just going to disregard you is beyond rude. They are banking on you just letting their unacceptable behavior go. And that is unfair on everyone with kids who has some respect. NTA.

CreativeMusic5121 said:

NTA. "Listen, I know it is a problem for you that your child cannot be accommodated at our wedding. We will change your RSVP to "no," and hope we can get together after we return from our honeymoon." Then assign someone to play bouncer should they show up with the kid, to deny entry.

ElleArr26 said:

NTA. Uninvite them and make it clear security will escort all three of them out. They have no right to just highjack your wedding.

youshallneverlearn said:

NTA. I'd say, be absolutely truthful. Tell them: "So guys, I've heard a rumor that, even though you tell us you won't bring your child at our wedding, you are actually planning on doing so, behind our backs.

I don't know if it's true or not, but I'm gonna tell you now one thing that is 100% true. If you do bring your child, you will NOT be allowed to enter, and you WILL be asked to leave the premises. You have been thoroughly informed. Now, whether you want to act as adults or children about it, is up to you."

positmatt said:

NTA - and I would forcefully rescind their invitation as they have shown no respect for a common courtesy.

Lynfran said:

NTA. You don’t need this drama. You have enough drama you can’t control, this one you can. Uninvite them. “We understand your priorities are with your child. We are sorry you won’t be able to attend. We will miss you.”