'AITA if I left my husband at the ER overnight?' 'They eventually sedated him.'

"AITA if I left my husband at the ER overnight?"

I (29f) and my husband (31m) were visiting his family in another state for a cousin’s wedding. We’ve been married 3 years, no kids yet. My husband likes to drink, and at the reception he definitely overdid it, taking shots with his cousins and ignoring the fact I asked him to slow down because we had to drive back to our Airbnb.

Long story short, he ended up tripping over the curb outside the venue while we were waiting for our Uber and cut his forehead pretty badly. He was super drunk, belligerent, cussing at the paramedics and refusing stitches. At the hospital, he kept yelling at nurses and trying to take off his IV, so security had to come in. They eventually sedated him so they could clean him up.

At that point it was already 2 AM, and I was exhausted, embarrassed, and honestly mad. I asked the nurse if I could leave since they were admitting him overnight for observation and she said yes.

I called an Uber, went back to the Airbnb, showered, and went to bed. His mom and sister started blowing up my phone around 7 AM calling me heartless for leaving him alone, and saying I should’ve stayed in case something happened.

He’s fine now, just has a bandage on his forehead and a big hangover, but everyone’s treating me like the villain. AITA for leaving him there overnight instead of staying with him in the hospital?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

DonaldMerwinElbert said:

People can drink too much without turning into aholes. If he can't, he should forgo overindulging in the future - you're helping him figure out what he should've realized himself by now. NTA.

cheeparoo said:

NTA, sounds like he FAFO.

Shdfx1 said:

NTA. Your husband might be an alcoholic. You said he likes to drink. He got so drunk at a wedding that he fell down, was verbally abusive to paramedics, and hospital staff, to the point they had to sedate him. How was he treating you during all this? Did he save his vitriol for strangers, or did the good ole wife receive some of his temper, too?

Tell your in-laws your husband is a mean drunk, who was so vicious to those trying to help him in the hospital that security had to hold him while they sedated him. So, yep, you went home so he could sleep it off, rather than sit there and keep taking it. Ask them if they’re ready to help you talk him into rehab, because he has a problem.

pverbial_reddithole said:

NTA. Former ER nurse here: he sounds like a real peach when he’s drunk. You’re totally fine to dip out while he’s acting like that, not dying, and not being discharged. Sounds like he needs to sleep it off and get his crap together.

I mean, you were going to pick him up right? Haha I assume you were. Not one person in that ER was like “oh my god, I can’t believe she left him here overnight.” You weren’t ditching grandma to be sent away to the nursing home forever. Sorry you went through that.

WildCaliPoppy said:

NTA. I think probably most women would go home at that point. I might also be planning a conversation about alcohol

Cosmic-Phoenix97 said:

Nta- er nurse-this happens more than you think. He isn’t the first and won’t be the last. It was 0200 and you needed your sleep and to take care of yourself, and the er is terrible for that because how overstimulated the area is. You left him in very capable hands and he’s alive- he’s an adult he’ll be ok