'AITA for forcing my sister to make my daughter a flower girl in her wedding?'
"AITA for refusing to attend my sister's wedding after she didn't include my daughter as a flower girl?"
Laian_Lilt writes:
So, I (28F) have a sister, "Clara" (32F), who's getting married in a few months. We've always been close, but things have gotten complicated since she started planning her wedding.
A bit of backstory: I have a daughter, "Lily" (6), who adores Clara. Clara initially told Lily she could be a flower girl, and Lily has been excitedly talking about her "big role" at the wedding ever since.
However, last week, Clara called me to say that she had changed her mind. She decided to have only her fiancé's nieces as flower girls because they are from a very traditional family, and including them would please his family.
I tried to explain how much this meant to Lily and that she was really looking forward to it. Lily was already feeling like part of the day and had even started calling it "our wedding" whenever she talked about it.
Clara said she felt really bad, but her future in-laws were very insistent, and this would make things smoother for family dynamics. I got upset and told Clara that if Lily isn't included as she promised, then neither of us will attend the wedding.
Now, Clara is upset, saying I'm being unreasonable and using Lily to manipulate her decision. My parents think I should just let it go and not miss Clara's big day over something like this. I feel torn because, while I don't want to miss my sister's wedding, I also don't want to teach Lily that it's okay for people to break their promises to her. So AITA for refusing to go to the wedding if Lily isn't a flower girl?
Here are the top rated comments from readers of OP's story.
Free-Comb8184 says:
NTA, but I would tell Clara she has to explain to your daughter, with you and your parents present, why she is no longer the flower girl. Make her be the bad guy and don’t let her put that on you.
UniqueMark4192 says:
From the title I was going to say YTA bc, you can’t demand anything from someone else’s wedding. But your sister TOLD her she could be in it. Not only that what exactly does “a traditional family” mean?
Are you a lesbian and that’s why they don’t want her there? Are you divorced or had her “out of wedlock” and they’re anti-single mothers? Or they just ONLY care about their family? NTA big time.
Sweet_Shainna says:
NTA. Promises, especially to kids, shouldn’t be taken lightly. Lily was looking forward to this, and it’s tough explaining to a child why they’re suddenly not included. It’s not just about the wedding; it’s about keeping your word.
Tipsy-boo says:
NTA. Traditionally the brides entourage comes from the brides side of the family- and the grooms from his. So what tradition. And if she wanted to she could just have all the nieces as flower girls. I went to a lovely wedding where every child under ten was a flower child. Thats not for everyone but it was lovely for that particular wedding.