'AITA if I pull my kid from art class because of my husband's flirting?'
"AITA if I pull my kid from art class because of my husband's flirting?"
My (44F) daughter (13F) does not have many friends at school and has been getting into trouble because of her behavior. We have been trying to get her involved in more activities so she can meet new people.
She started an art class a few months ago, and it seemed to be going well. She gets along with the girls there, and she especially connected with one friend (14F). I have met this friend’s mom a few times while picking my daughter up.
About three months ago, the mom told me she was considering taking her daughter out of the group because of her work schedule. Then she directly asked if I could pick her daughter up every week and drop her off at their house.
It felt like a pretty bold thing to ask, especially since we did not know each other very well. But I checked the address, and it was an easy detour for me, so I agreed. Over time I got to know my daughter’s friend a bit more, and honestly I have mixed feelings about her.
She comes across as kind of mean. She gossips a lot and says nasty things about the other girls in the class. For about a month I could not do the pickups because of work, so my husband handled it. He never complained or mentioned anything unusual.
Last week, when I started doing pickups again, my daughter’s friend made a strange comment. She referred to my husband as my “ex husband.” When I corrected her, she said she just assumed we were divorced.
I asked why, and she said it was because of how my husband and her mom “flirted” with each other whenever he dropped her off. She said it as if it were a joke. My daughter was in the car but did not say anything.
I became upset and told her to stop lying, but she told me to ask my husband if he had offered to come to their house and fix their pool heater. That sounded completely made up because my husband knows nothing about pool heaters.
That night I asked him, and to my surprise he admitted he had said that. He told me it was just a throwaway comment to be polite, and he never planned to actually do it. We had a big argument. He denies having done anything inappropriate beyond that.
Now I am considering taking my daughter out of the class. I do not want our family involved with that other family at all. But at the same time, this girl is my daughter’s only real friend right now, and she loves the class. I am not sure what to do.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
CptKUSSCryAllTheTime said:
You could tell the kids mom that you can no longer provide transportation for her daughter.
Hopeful_Emu849 said:
You want to punish your daughter for your husband's (alleged) actions...and without knowing any details at all, you accused a child of lying to you...Do you have trouble with emotional regulation?
your_printer_ink_is said:
Who tells a child “stop lying” just because they say something they don’t like? That sounds quite childish to me.
Mother_Rucker98 said:
YTA. Just don’t pick up the friend anymore?
Bleacherblonde said:
Don’t punish your daughter, but let the mom know she needs to find another ride. I’d even bring it up to the mom. “So, your daughter said the strangest thing- she said you were hitting on my husband and he’d be my ex soon. How crazy is that?” Call her out
Vampire_queen94 said:
YTA if your husband wants to cheat then he will find a way to do it pulling your daughter isn't gonna change anything and it will just make her angry with you.