Wife gets Mother's Day revenge by making her husband spend Father's Day with their kids. He divorces her. AITA? UPDATED 2X
"I purposefully ignored what my husband told me he wanted for Father's Day, he's now ignoring me and won't accept my apologies. What can I do to make it up to him?"
Me and my husband have been together for the past 9 years, we have two kids, a 8 year old and a 6 year old. For mothers day all I wanted was a free day, I wanted my husband to take the kids out somewhere for the day so I could be home alone and relax.
Instead he got me and the kids tickets to have a fun day out. And it was fun, and me and the kids had a good time but it irked me that he gave me the exact opposite of what I'd asked for.
For father's day my husband also wanted a free day so he could stay home and game all day. He games all the time with his friends, he'll get home from work, maybe spend the time between then and dinner with the kids before going up to his office to game for a few hours with friends.
Instead, I got him and the kids cards for an arcade an hour away with a ton of tokens. I gave him the cards during dinner on Saturday so he and the kids could leave early and spend all day playing with them.
I got my free day and he and the kids got to make a lot of memories together. He and I got into a fight when the kids went to bed, he was angry that I ignored what he wanted for Father's day, I was angry he didn't see that he'd done the same thing to me on mother's day. He's been ignoring me since and won't accept my apologies.
Edit: Some people are thinking that me, my husband and our kids went out for Mother's Day. We didn't, I took the kids for a day out while he played video games all day with his friends.
Edit: I can't believe I have to say this: I do not hate, resent or in any other way dislike my children. My point was not that going on a day out with them is terrible and I hate it. My point was that it really sucks asking for on thing and being given the opposite.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Based your edit, sounds like you each got your gifts….just on the others holiday. If he really can’t see the see how these things are the same, I suggest you speak in smaller words and try again….because damn. He’s being deliberately obtuse.
He expected to have a day off on Mother’s Day, and another on Father’s Day, and is being a petty child that he didn’t get both days off.
Make a graph. Mother’s Day/Fathers day. Wanted day off/wanted day off. Did not receive day off/did not receive day off. Received day out with kids/Received day out with kids. Spouse got day off/Spouse got day off.
When you’re alone with him, hold it up, tell him to explain how it’s different. With facts and logic. Ask if the difference was, that he was happy on Mother’s Day, and unhappy on Father’s Day.
Once you’re able to get him talking, you’re also going to have to discuss how it’s not appropriate to give your spouse the silent treatment, on top of the Not-Coolness of him acting like he’s the only human being with feelings that matter in your marriage.
Four days later, the OP returned with a short but intense update.
People keep asking me for an update so here you go: we're in the process of getting a divorce. Now please stop asking for an update. I didn't know that my post would get so popular and people would decide to repost it to other platforms and if I had known that I wouldn't have made that post at all.
Seven months later, the OP returned with their final update.
Mothers day is infinitely better now that I'm single then it was when I was married. I didn't wake up to a messy kitchen that I was expected to clean after eating a sub par breakfast, I didn't have to fight with anyone over what "gift" I was given.
I didn't have to cook dinner after an exhausting day where I got no help or thanks from my ex. I didn't have to do anything else that I came to expect with Mother's Day. I didn't feel the stress I have felt every other Mother's Day.
I got to have a lazy morning in bed with my kids, we made pancakes for brunch. They gave me cards they'd made in school. And we watched movies on the couch all day and ordered pizza for dinner and it was wonderful.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
He simply used Mother's Day as an excuse to get a free day to himself under the guise of being a great guy. She did the same to him so of course he's pissed. I'm glad she is divorcing.
Sometimes the trash takes itself out.
The last update was perfection. I will always remember the first Christmas after my parents divorced. My father was always in a bad mood on Christmas Day (with one exception in the 12 Christmases I remember with him).
The first Christmas after divorce - my baby sister didn’t start the day crying because of all the tension in the air. No presents were thrown at us. We spent the whole day in jammies and didn’t have to dress up for dinner. It was bliss.
Dude played games all then got mad she gave him the same energy back, divorce was overdue tbh 🤷.
I bet that's another man who was 'blindsided' when his wife finally had enough. Good for you to choose your own happiness and wellbeing. I wish that more people realize that a relationship is like a bank account. If only one person is putting money in the bank and the other one is only withdrawing from the account, in the end you'll end up overdrawn.