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'AITA For Ignoring the Wishes of My MIL and Letting My Daughter Read on Family Vacation?'

'AITA For Ignoring the Wishes of My MIL and Letting My Daughter Read on Family Vacation?'

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"AITA For Ignoring the Wishes of My MIL and Letting My Daughter Read on Family Vacation?"

Green-Bee1043

39F here. Wife and momma of three (10M, 8F, and 5F). My husband Joe is one of three boys. His parents have a vacation home in Hawaii and every year they invite the kids, in-laws, and grandkids for a week long family vacation.

Some context is that Joe and his brothers were all competitive athletes and loved playing sports and games on family vacations. My in-laws encourage this with the grandkids (there are currently 7) and are always trying to get them to play sand soccer or football on the beach. My son and younger daughter love the games and also being in the water, but my middle daughter Julia is different.

Julia is smart and creative, but she’s also a sensitive and introverted little girl. She has friends at school, but isn’t as eager to play with her male cousins because they don’t have as much in common with her. Julia and her friends at school love playing pretend (they’ve created an entire imaginary world) and putting on shows (we now have her in theatre and ballet).

My four nephews and other two kids aren’t interested in these activities and enjoy running around and playing sports all day like Joe and his brothers did when they were kids. Julia, for whatever reason, just seems to have a different personality than the other kids in the family.

My daughter is also a huge bookworm and is completely hooked on the Goosebumps series. When I say hooked, I mean that she spends almost all of her free time reading these books and begs me to take her to the bookstore to buy more frequently.

She loves telling me about the books she’s reading and has even started writing her own Goosebumps stories before bed. I personally am happy that my daughter loves to read and is so creative, and I try to encourage her to pursue these interests. She’s definitely a bit “quirky” compared to my other two, but she’s being herself and pursuing her own interests which I love.

We got to the island on Thursday night and spent all day Friday and Saturday at the beach and are going to the pool today. Julia plays with her cousins at the house and talks to them at meals, but during the day, she just wants to sit next to me and read her books.

I have encouraged her to swim for a little bit since we’re in Hawaii, and she goes in the water for a few minutes, but then she asks if she can get back to her book. She’s played a few games with her cousins and siblings when I coax her, but again, she honestly just wants to be reading Goosebumps.

Overall, when we’re at the beach, I’d say she spends 1/5 of the time playing and 4/5ths of the time reading. She would probably spend the whole time reading if I didn’t encourage her to try other things for a little bit. My husband doesn’t see an issue with Julia spending the days reading. He says we’re on vacation and it’s about her having fun.

He says if she wants to read on the beach all day, it’s her decision, and she’s at least getting some sun, having a blast, and enriching her mind. I generally agree, although I do wish she’d swim a bit more since were in Hawaii and also spend more time with the other kids.

This morning before breakfast, my MIL pulled my husband and I to the side and asked if we were going to let Julia bring her book to the pool today. My husband said yes and my MIL asked us to reconsider.

She said the trip is about family and Julia creating memories with her siblings and cousins. I told my MIL that Julia is very introverted and that she bonds with the other kids at the house, during meals, and for a bit at the beach, but she doesn’t need to be running around with them 24/7 to create happy memories.

My MIL then accused us of spoiling Julia, encouraging her to be anti-social, and teaching her that her individual desires are more important than being part of the group.

My MIL also says her obsession with Goosebumps is unhealthy, and that Julia isn’t interested in talking about anything that isn’t related to fictional stories and characters. She does talk about Goosebumps a lot, but my MIL is exaggerating a bit.

This set off my husband, and he said that Julia has friends at school but has different interests than her cousins and siblings. He said he wants her to enjoy her vacation and if that means her reading all day, then he supports it as long as it’s not impacting the rest of the group.

The convo ended with me telling my MIL that Julia can bring her books to the pool and that I’m not going to force her to spend her trip doing things she’s not interested in.

My MIL and FIL have spent the entire breakfast scowling at me and my husband. At one point Julia started telling my MIL about her favorite Goosebumps book and my MIL said she isn’t interested in hearing anything else about Goosebumps.

She also said that Julia should talk about things that interest other people as well, and Julia started asking her Grandma about the books she liked and tennis. My husband told his mom not to parent his child in front of everyone, and it was very awkward.

We’re about to head to the pool and I’m letting Julia bring her books, but I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing? I’m trying to find the balance between letting her enjoy the trip and also being part of the group? Any advice would be appreciated.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:

GreatGollyGertie

Forcing a child to be social when they aren't ready will not allow for the confidence it requires to become truly social. Villainizing a child for liking books is isolating and cruel, and straight up stupid. MIL needs to buzz off. NTA.

Green-Bee1043 (OP)

Thank you! I agree! I think making her play with the cousins all day will just make it a chore and make her less inclined to try new things. I hope my MIL does or my family might need to venture off and do our own thing.

_A-Q

NTA Please don’t ever leave your little girl alone with your MIL. Her dismissing her when she tried to talk to her about something she’s excited about is just plain cruel.

Wolfcat_Nana

Grandma will soon long for the days her grandkids want to talk to her. I listen to my grands go on and on about Transformers, Ninja Turtles, and Power Rangers. I had no idea there were so many versions of the Power Rangers and that there is an Optimus Prime Gorrila. I have even been taught Transforner skills.

I listen intently because they are so excited to tell me about it. That's what a Nana does. I know when they get older they won't be as excited to tell Nana all about their day.

Turmeric_Ping

Let her be herself. She's introverted, being 'part of the group' is a bit much for her, so she reads her book. Good to see your husband isn't a mommy's boy and is standing up for his child.

mwlnga

NTA maintain your parenting boundaries. Your kids are very fortunate to have both of you as their parents.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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