'AITA for asking my college roommate to keep the noise down when it's late?'

AITA for asking my roommate to keep the noise down?

I (20F) live in the university residences with four other girls. We each have our own room and share a bathroom and a kitchen. I’ve had problems with the girl living next to me. I am not a problematic person. I’m very shy, mature, and kind to others.

She is very loud, always has her boyfriend over, and they talk and laugh at odd hours, even during the week. We have quiet hours, but she ignores them. I tried to subtly remind her at first, but when she started blasting music on a speaker on a Thursday night at 3 a.m., I reached my limit.

This went on for most of the year. I talked to her about it and explained that I don’t sleep well in general, and that she was bothering the other girls too (I had talked to them, and they agreed with me). She ignored what I said, and I felt really disrespected. I don’t think she realizes she doesn’t live alone.

One time, my other roommate and I came back to the apartment and noticed that the front door was unlocked. In our roommate agreement at the beginning of the year, we had all agreed to keep it locked, since we wouldn’t feel safe otherwise.

I confronted her about it and asked her to please keep it locked. She told me she unlocked it because when she goes out clubbing, she doesn’t want to bring her keys with her. I reminded her of our agreement, but she said it would inconvenience her. I told her that as an adult, she should always bring her keys with her anywhere (maybe this was wrong of me to say, but that’s what my dad always tells me, so I didn’t think much of it).

That really set her off. She got very angry and told me with wide eyes that I wasn’t her mom and that I didn’t get to tell her what to do. I told her that our safety and comfort came before convenience.

I don’t remember exactly what she said next, but I responded that she inconveniences me when she blasts music at midnight on a school night. She then started screaming at me and told me that I “wasn’t 80.” I dissociated at that point, so I don’t remember the rest of what she said.

I do remember finding her yelling kind of funny, so I couldn’t help but smile. I left while she was still yelling and closed the door behind me. She kept shouting through the door. I’m proud of myself for never raising my voice and staying calm, but I still think her reaction was completely disproportionate. AITA for bringing it up?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

pearllmoon says:

NTA asking to live in a safe, quiet space isn’t “bossy,” it’s basic respect. If she can’t handle that, the problem’s on her, not you.

No_Pay_7188 says:

Report her to the RA.

Chilling_Storm says:

You all need another roommate meeting where you get to talk about how you are feeling, what you need and what you want. It isn't an airing of grievances. Use I statements_ I feel exhausted and frustrated when I am awakened or kept awake due to excessive noise and I need to sleep or I won't do well at this school.

Relative-Treat-7661 says:

NTA. You were calm, respectful, and just wanted everyone to feel safe and get some sleep. She’s being inconsiderate and immature you didn’t do anything wrong by setting basic boundaries.

What do you think?