'AITA for blowing up in a staff meeting because a coworker shared personal info about me?'
"AITA for blowing up and walking out on a staff meeting when I found out a coworker had shared personal info about me?"
Free_Math5910 writes:
My (29F) husband and I have been having some issues conceiving a child. We have been trying for about two years, and I have had two miscarriages. It has been a very difficult process, and we have chosen to largely keep it private.
A few select people know we have been trying, but the only people who are aware of the miscarriages are my husband, my parents, my sister, and my doctor. The most recent miscarriage was about six months ago, and we are beginning to consider not having children or exploring another route.
I have a coworker I am casual friends with, and she knew we were trying for children. It had been a while since she checked in about it, so she casually asked. I told her it was not working out. She asked if everything was okay, and I finally shared that I had experienced a few miscarriages. She was sympathetic but did not pry further.
The next day, we had a staff meeting. At the end of the meeting, my boss turned to me and said she hoped I was doing okay and asked if there was anything I would like to share with the group. Immediately, I knew my coworker had told her.
I am not particularly close with my other coworkers, and I did not want them to know this information. I played dumb for a minute and tried to figure out what they were talking about.
I eventually learned that, in an earlier portion of the meeting that I was not present for, my coworker had told everyone what I had shared with her because “she wanted them to be there for me.” I became very angry and told her that I had shared this information in confidence and she had no right to tell anyone else.
Everyone seemed to be trying to comfort me and offer support, but I did not want or need it, and I felt completely betrayed. The more they tried to defend themselves, the angrier I became, and I stormed out.
Some of them have tried to reach out to me since, but I have not responded. AITA? I should mention that this is a very small company, and we do not really have HR. That is basically my boss, who does not seem to think there is anything wrong with this.
Here are some of the comments from the post.
Nunnerss says:
NTA. Even without the coworker your bosses behavior is extremely inappropriate.
External-City3314 says:
NTA. That is such a private and sensitive subject. You were basically put on blast. Oof. I’m sorry that happened.
FlysaMinelly says:
That’s a huge boundary crossed but i guess she was trying to help but when the wrong way about it. NTA though.
mysteresc says:
NTA. Its not clear whether or not you asked your co-worker not to share the information. They should have asked if it was okay to do so regardless. And your manager should never have put you on the spot like that.