'AITA for calling out my husband for making fun of our son on his birthday?'
"AITA for calling out my husband for making fun of our son?"
purveyor-of-stuff writes:
Our son just turned 17 and is losing his hair. He’s on minoxidil for it and is very sensitive about the hair loss. His father started to lose his hair at the same age. He wasn’t able to have his cake on his actual birthday because he was out of the house, so he wanted to wait until today.
Tonight, before we sang happy birthday, my son was teasing his dad and called him a jerk. I was busy trying to take pictures, but it felt harmless. My husband responded by saying that our son was losing his hair. I saw red. I didn’t shout, but my voice was raised a bit since I have a scratchy throat. I told him, as I’ve said before, that jokes based on reality aren’t funny and that what he said was not okay.
My husband said it was just a joke because he had been called a name first. Then he asked if I had eaten (while I was cleaning up the kitchen after making dinner, which took an hour and a half), and I said I hadn’t because I was still cleaning. His response was, “Well, that explains it,” as if being hungry was the reason I was upset.
I’m angry. Our child’s bully should not be his father. Beyond that, our son’s birthday car had to be returned because there were too many alerts when we had it checked. I had suggested taking it to a mechanic before giving it to him, but my husband declined.
My son had been so excited to come home from school to see his new-to-him car, only for it to be taken away a few days later. It just feels like my son can’t win on his birthday, and my husband has no emotional awareness of how cruel that comment was.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
ThePurpleGuardian says:
INFO: how did your son react in the moment? That's what matters more than how you feel about it.
OP responded:
My son didn’t say anything. I know that previously a kid in his class mad fun of him and my son was really upset. He said that if the kid said it again, he would need to fight him. Of course, we talked about it and talked about how hurt feelings should not equal fighting. That the kid was being a jerk and that means that the kid wasn’t his people.
JanetInSpain says:
"Just a joke" is the rallying cry of every bully on the planet. Your husband bullied your son. He didn't "joke with him". Your husband is an irresponsible jerk. Is he often this thoughtless and cruel?
Open_Mortgage_4645 says:
NTA making fun of someone, let alone your own child, for a physical characteristic that they're self-conscious about is an example of terrible parenting, and inappropriate cruelty.
What do you think?