"AITA for dropping my kids off with my wife when she is with a grieving friend?"
"AITA for dropping my kids off with my wife when she is with a grieving friend?"
My wife’s best friend (Jessie) lost her husband about a month ago. My wife has been at her home almost every single day since. My job requires me to be on call some nights, and money is tight, so I can’t skip my shifts.
I know Jessie is struggling, but it’s been extremely stressful for me to be basically a single parent since my wife is never home. I’ve talked to her about cutting back, but it always ends in an argument about me being heartless.
Yesterday I was on call and actually got called in. I couldn’t leave our two daughters (6 and 9) home alone, so I called my wife and told her she needed to come home because I had to leave. She told me no and to figure it out.
We don’t have the money for a sitter, my parents live too far away, her parents aren’t allowed near the kids, and my friends have their own families and responsibilities. So I packed up the kids and, on my way to work, dropped them off at Jessie’s house. My wife was furious that I did that.
When I got back, we got into a huge argument. I told her that she needs to actually be a parent, and that I’m tired of her playing house at Jessie’s when we have our own kids to care for. She called me a heartless man, and I told her she needs to focus on being a parent to our children.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
PinkPaintedSky says:
NTA. This sounds more like an excuse to get away from you/kids than it does helping a friend. There is something bigger going on behind the scenes.
MischievousBish says:
NTA. Your wife straight up neglect her kids by going over to Jessie's house EVERY DAY! Every day is kind of excessive AFTER a month of Jessie's husband's death. She knew the money is tight and doesn't care.
quinnquinn34 says:
NTA. You had to make sure your kids were safe, and your wife was choosing to prioritize her friend over them. Dropping them off at a trusted adult’s house in an emergency was responsible. That said, this clearly needs a serious conversation about boundaries and parenting responsibilities so it doesn’t keep happening.
blackwillow-99 says:
NTA your wife is neglecting her children and her marriage. She is essentially destroying her own marriage and relationship with her children for her bestie. Jess while in grief needs to tell her friend to get it together. You absolutely can support and be there but not to the point of neglect. You need a serious sit down about reality and change.