'AITA for enjoying my life while my GF tries to learn skills to get a job?'
"AITA for enjoying my life while girlfriend is over burdened?"
Standard_9736 writes:
23M and 23F. In a relationship for almost 3 years. We graduated from the same college last year and share a similar group of friends. We started living together after graduation. I got a job better than I expected, so I’m feeling career-wise settled.
But she only focused on CGPA and pleasing professors. She didn’t master any skills, although we used to advise her. Now she’s gotten a reality check and is desperate for a decent job. Maybe she’s feeling extra pressure since she’s the only one unemployed in the group. We were from a not-so-good college, and the job market is tough as well. Hence, studying outside the box was a must.
She has gone into panic mode with her studies now. Trying to do four years’ worth of upskilling in a few months is obviously a lot. But she’s determined and studies from morning to night. I’m also helping her by taking over most of the house chores and supporting her in her studies whenever she needs it.
I have five workdays per week. On a working day, I get 5–6 hours of free time. Since she’s busy all day, I spend my free time relaxing and enjoying myself without her. But she wants me to support her by restricting my own entertainment as well, which I’m finding hard and unfair.
After grinding for years, I think I deserve to enjoy my life. My only sources of entertainment are going out with friends or alone and watching movies or shows. Restricting those basically means wasting my free time.
She says it’s distracting for her to see me having fun. She also feels left out and maybe insecure. But I’m standing firm because I watch things strictly using headphones, and I fail to understand what the issue is with me going out if she’s in a separate room studying most of the day.
Yesterday, we had a minor argument, and she called me selfish. The word may not sound extreme, but it was her tone that upset me. Now there’s some mild tension in the environment, with neither of us bending. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Mullein55 says:
NTA. Clearly she is not enjoying studying hard and seems to want you to not enjoy yourself too. That's selfish. You did your stint; now she is having to do hers. Stick to your guns.
dutchie_1 says:
Your success is not due to you being exceptional, just being a man got you many steps ahead. Your career is neither settled as you may think, just because you started ahead doesn't mean you start ahead (tortoise and hare). If you are this disconnected from her I don't see this relationship lasting much longer. So either you help her out and join her in some of her busy work and make it entertaining for both or just separate
No-Introduction3808 says:
NTA you seem to be doing everything not to disturb her, ask her what it is she thinks you could be doing while she’s busy? Does she set any time aside to go out and have fun?
Life_Chemical1601 says:
NTA but if you gloat that much on t54he internet, I can't imagine how you must be with her. Do you even love her? Because reading your post, I just have the feeling you love being superior to her.